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Welcome back to Fierce Calling with your host Doris Swift. In today’s episode, we’re diving deep into the art of rediscovering joy and the power of intentional living with our inspiring guest, Nancy Bowens, a mindset coach for midlife women. Known for her mission to help women embrace their potential and feel seen, heard, and valued, Nancy joins us to discuss overcoming modern challenges like technology-induced isolation, the importance of community, and finding rest amidst life’s busyness.
Together, we explore how letting go of tightly held plans can open us up to divine possibilities and how faith can ground us in purpose. Nancy shares her journey through life’s unexpected turns, including caring for her mother during challenging time and transitioning into coaching.
We’ll also touch on the struggles many face in midlife—trust, personal growth, and the joy found in pursuing long-hidden dreams. So, settle in as we embark on a journey of finding joy, community, and purpose in the present moment, all while challenging ourselves to grow and trust in the process.
Plus, stay tuned for Nancy’s tips on recognizing and embracing your unique gifts and how to connect with her ongoing work through her website and uplifting weekly emails.
I know what Nancy shares will encourage, inspire, and challenge you, so listen in and share this episode with a friend!
Episode Highlights …
- Rediscovering Joy: Doris introduces her insightful book, Surrender the Joy Stealers Rediscover the Jesus Joy in You, a must-read for anyone seeking to reignite their joy through personal and biblical tales.
- Intentional Connections: Nancy sheds light on the importance of authentic relationships in a digital age filled with superficial connections. Both she and Doris advocate for setting aside devices to truly be present with others.
- Navigating Life’s Challenges: Hear Nancy’s powerful testimony about managing life’s unexpected changes, from battling cancer to caring for her elderly mother, while gleaning wisdom about embracing divine possibilities.
- Mindset Mastery: Learn how Nancy helps her clients, particularly Christian women, differentiate between needs and values to align their lives for optimal function and fulfillment.
- Personal Growth & Trust: Discover the keys to reassessing one’s identity and calling post-midlife and give yourself permission to pursue dormant dreams and aspirations.
Connect with Nancy!
Nancy is a writer, mindset coach for midlife women, and professional silver lining finder armed with curiosity and great coffee. This sunset-chasing, hospitality-loving guru navigates life’s twists with panache! Her superpower?
Inspiring others to embrace their God-given spark living brave, strong and courageous!
Find her at: The Intentional Life – – www.nancybouwens.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/nancybouwensintentionallife
IG: https://www.instagram.com/nancy_bouwens
Connect with me: https://www.nancybouwens.com/connect
A year of recommended reading: https://go.nancybouwens.com/reading
The Peaceful Playlist – A collection of music to inspire creativity, unlock joy and help you live just a bit more bravely! https://www.nancybouwens.com/peaceful-playlist
Connect with Doris!
- Connect with Doris at https://dorisswift.com/ For speaking engagements, visit her booking page at womenspeakers.com
Join us for this heartening episode of Fierce Calling and be inspired to deepen your biblical study and walk with God.
What Threatens to Steal Your Joy?
Check out Surrender the Joy Stealers: Rediscover the Jesus Joy in You 6-week Bible study rooted in John 15. You can find more info at https://dorisswift.com/book/
Let’s Stay Connected!
Find my free resources including Fear Fighting Bible Verses, Simple Tips for Sharing Your Faith, Surrender the Joy Stealers, Step Out of Your Doubt and Into Your Calling ebook, and more on my dorisswift.com homepage!
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Thanks for Listening!
I hope this episode with Nancy encouraged, inspired, and challenged you to cultivate community, live and walk in the value and worth God gave you, and take action where your passion, compassion, and conviction intersect. You’ll find links in the show notes to connect with Nancy and with me.
If you’re looking for a speaker for your next women’s conference, retreat, luncheon, or workshop, reach out and connect with me on my speaker page at https://www.womenspeakers.com/florida/edgewater/speaker/doris-swift
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Stay tuned for more amazing content and remember to check the show notes for all the links mentioned.
Thank you for being a part of our community. We are grateful for your continued support and encourage you to embrace the unique gifts that make you magnificently you.
I hope you’ll join me next time when I talk with another woman who is taking action where her passion, compassion, and conviction intersect …
Until then friend, have a blessed week, and I’ll talk to you soon.
With love and joy,
Doris
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Check out my home page for amazing FREE resources and downloads!
Transcript
Surrender the Joy Stealers Bible Study …
Doris [00:01:45]:
What is threatening to steal your joy? What is it that feels so heavy right now that you could barely stand? God has a plan, and his plan is to surrender it. Surrender it to him. It might be a prodigal. It might be a relationship, a marriage, something with your job. So many things. We have so many amazing blessings, but there are so many things in our life that threaten to steal our joy. I’m Doris Swift, author of the award-winning 6-week Bible study, Surrender the Joy Stealers, Rediscover the Jesus Joy in You. And it helps women rediscover the overflowing, ever-present Jesus joy within that fills, empowers, and ripens the fruit that God produces in our lives.
Doris [00:02:36]:
Using personal and biblical stories, I share how you can identify your joy stealers, surrender them to God, reawaken the joy within, and share the joy with others. You can do it on your own or with a group. Check it out, friends. Surrender the joy stealers. Rediscover the Jesus joy in you. It’s available on all the online retailers. It’s time to take your joy back.
Timestamps …
00:00 Empowering women to see their worth, value.
08:33 Prioritize presence over technology for meaningful relationships.
10:15 Emphasizing presence over FOMO to strengthen relationships.
15:21 Finding purpose beyond self-doubt through seeking God.
16:41 Questioning faith, belonging, and worth through Christ.
23:25 Mapping life’s journey, reflecting on God’s faithfulness.
25:09 Collaborative brainstorming to create personalized action plans.
28:56 Permission for self-discovery amidst nurturing roles.
32:46 Embrace past mistakes; trust God’s guidance.
36:07 Be open to changes, not rigid plans.
39:11 Use gifts where passion and conviction intersect.
42:39 Embrace your gifts; teach and learn continually.
44:43 Encouragement emails remind people of inclusion.
Now On with the Show …
What is threatening to steal your joy? What is it that feels so heavy right now that you could barely stand? God has a plan, and his plan is to surrender it. Surrender it to him. It might be a prodigal. It might be a relationship, a marriage, something with your job, so many things. We have so many amazing blessings, but there are so many things in our life that threaten to steal our joy. I’m Doris Swift, author of the award winning 6 week Bible study, Surrender the Joy Stealers Rediscover the Jesus Joy in You. And it helps women rediscover the overflowing, ever present Jesus joy within that fills, empowers, and ripens the fruit that God produces in our lives. Using personal and biblical stories, I share how you can identify your joy stealers, surrender them to God, reawaken the joy within, and share the joy with others.
You can do it on your own or with a group. Check it out, friends. Surrender the joy stealers. Rediscover the Jesus joy in you. It’s available on all the online retailers. It’s time to take your joy back. Welcome back to the show today. I’m really excited to welcome my friend, Nancy Bowens.
We met quite a few years ago, and she is an amazing woman of God. And I love that she’s a mindset coach for midlife women. She’s a writer. She has a blog. Her heart and her superpower that God has given her is to inspire others to embrace their God given spark. Living brave. I love that. Strong and courageous.
Her website is The intentional life, and I believe that’s also the name of her coaching, business. But she’s gonna share a little bit more about that with us today. Welcome to the show, Nancy. It’s so great to have you on.
Nancy Bowens00:03:52 – 00:03:56
It’s so great to be here. I appreciate the opportunity. I’m excited.
Yeah. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you in person, and we met years ago at the Tribe Writers Conference.
Nancy Bowens00:04:03 – 00:04:03
Yes.
And, we were both in that Tribe Writers, group together because writing has been a calling and and something that God has led us to. And, so we have that in common. And I love that you are a mindset coach for midlife women, which will dive a little bit more into that. But I love how when I’m reading your your bio, it says that you’re a professional silver lining finder armed with curiosity and great coffee. Yes.
Nancy Bowens00:04:31 – 00:04:32
That’s on the coffee.
That’s amazing. Yeah. I got us a great coffee. So I would love if you would share with us a little bit about your story and how you are taking action where your passion, compassion, and conviction intersect, which is the definition of the fierce calling.
Nancy Bowens00:04:50 – 00:05:48
Well, thank you for the opportunity. I appreciate that. You know, one of the things that matters so much to me, and I think it really has for years, but even more so as, you know, the years have ahead of me are now less than the years that are behind me, is that women see their their worth and their value, that they matter, that they’re heard, and that they’re seen, and that they’re welcome. One of the things that, is really important and one of the things that I work on through my coaching and even in my everyday life is making room at the table for someone, making them feel welcome and allowing them to see who they are in God, see who their what their calling is. So it’s interesting that, you know, fierce calling. I want them to know that they that they matter and that they’re seen not by just by God, but by me, and by other people around them. I think that is so important. We live in a world where, we’re we’re a number, we’re just another customer, we’re just another person on the end of the phone.
Nancy Bowens00:05:48 – 00:05:57
And we all long to be more than push 1 for this, push 2 for this, and push 3 if you ever hope to speak to a human ever again in your life. We want to talk
to
Nancy Bowens00:05:57 – 00:06:04
humans, and I think that that that that matters. And, people are longing for that. Women, especially, are longing for that today.
Yeah. That’s beautiful. And I love how you said that it’s important for them to know that God sees them, but also important to know that I see them and other people see them.
Nancy Bowens00:06:14 – 00:06:14
Mhmm.
Because that is true. A lot of times, if we’re talking, you know, about women, but this is true probably for men and women, you know, we can tend to feel invisible and not, not seen. And so it is so important for people to see us and to know, recognize us, know our name. Names are so important. And so I love that your heart is to make people feel known. And when they feel known and seen, it they feel loved. And I think that is so important, and it just it’s a stepping stone into having different faith conversations even, but also, building trust because you have your coaching that you do and, and just relationships in general because we were created for community, and so we long to do that. But you probably find oftentimes that women tend to isolate.
Do you you probably find that a lot, Nancy, right, in your in your, in your work with women?
Nancy Bowens00:07:13 – 00:07:52
We isolate, but, yeah, we have a 1000000 people around us. The the launch of the Internet has given us the ability to know a lot of people, to even maybe be connected to a lot of people, but not necessarily to be known. And I know that I can do that, just as well as the next person. You know, I can have all these what I think of our relationships. And I come to find out it’s like, but I really want someone just to sit with me. I just want someone just to see me. I want them to know, what I’m feeling right now. And it’s easy to go from place to place, whether it’s in person or online, but even more so that we have our life of Zoom now.
Nancy Bowens00:07:54 – 00:08:33
We, we can have those shallow relationships. But yet deep inside, we’re all longing for it. You know, whether you’re in the the checkout line at the grocery store, you’re standing, you know, at the the local target, or whether you’re working with a group online, there’s so many people and so much noise. And I think we’ve forgotten how to be still and how to simply be. Our phone is always with us. And I’m just as much to blame. I have to be so intentional to leave it somewhere, to leave it in my purse when I have coffee with somebody, to not have it on the table when I’m having dinner with my husband. And you don’t think about it’s like, oh, I’m going to quick look that up.
Nancy Bowens00:08:33 – 00:09:25
I’m going to quick check that but you you forget that even the presence of that thing, which I love my phone, don’t get me wrong, I’m not, you know, all shiny and clean here. But it’s like, you know, I use it all the time. But how often should we just leave it? And how often should we not pick up that technology because the person in front of us matters more than that siren song of, oh, this is happening, that’s happening, and you’re gonna miss this. And, it is, but we we can isolate to to circle back to your question. I think we can isolate, but we can cover it up with what appears to be worthwhile activities. And we forget that, we don’t need to always God doesn’t call us always to be busy. He calls us to a time of rest. And sometimes that rest can be stepping away from all of the things we feel like we should be doing.
Nancy Bowens00:09:25 – 00:09:40
Because we can get caught up in that and we can can cover up our, our need for relationship by you know, the word says that, you know, he didn’t design man to be alone, he didn’t design woman to be alone, we were better in community, and 2 are always better than 1.
Yeah. Wow. That is really powerful. And bringing that up, you know, because we can feel a little bit of a conviction about the phone thing, because it can become an idol Mhmm. And it can try to be a substitute for human in person relationships and connections. And, I love how you were saying when you have coffee with a friend, you leave your phone in your purse. When you have dinner with your husband, you don’t leave it on the table. I think it it’s just the world that we’re in right now, we feel like we have to be so very accessible to everyone.
And like you were saying, we don’t wanna miss anything, so that whole FOMO thing, fear of missing out. But I feel like what you are bringing out, which is such a fantastic point, is the ministry of presence. Being present with someone that you’re actually with, you know, because we are so easily distracted, and these distractions are causing breaks. And we might not notice these little cracks in the foundation of our relationships, but it can really cause a lot of cracks in the foundation of our relationships if we’re not, present, if we’re not intent on being there, you know, where we are at the moment with who we are with at the moment. And, so I but thank you for that reminder because it does take intentionality. And when we think about years ago, we didn’t have a phone with us, and everything was fine. So I love how you brought that out. But, also, I love how you brought out the fact that we could isolate with people all around us.
Nancy Bowens00:11:20 – 00:11:21
Mhmm.
Because I think people can really buy into the lie that they’re not isolating, that they’re not, and people might, like you say, they might might not perceive it as that person’s lonely or that person is is isolating because they’re not physically alone, you know, in, the wherever they may be. So I I think that’s a great reminder that isolation doesn’t only mean being by yourself in your house alone. It can mean being in a crowded room with people, but yet feeling like you are not seen or that you don’t belong,
Nancy Bowens00:11:59 – 00:11:59
you know.
And so if you could speak into that a little bit, because I know so many might feel that they don’t belong, and it’s, it can it can be really distracting and keeping, you know, them stuck. Because I know you love to help people get unstuck. So if you could share a little bit about that.
Nancy Bowens00:12:16 – 00:12:55
Absolutely. Just, you know, maybe to kind of frame that, with a little bit of a story, if you don’t mind. Not long ago, I was at a conference earlier this year, And I knew several of the people there, but not a lot of them. And there were there was a room of probably 50, 60 people. And I thought, okay, I can connect with these people. I’m okay. And I’m not feeling needy. I feel like I can I can do this, you know, and and but yet, I had dinner with a crowd of people a table of people’s round table and got to chatting with them? And there was a point when I said, well, I’m just gonna go to my room and, you know, fresh out for the next session.
Nancy Bowens00:12:55 – 00:13:24
Not one person said goodbye. Not one person said, we’ll see you later. And and they probably had nothing to do with anything. They were just busy in their conversations, but I felt like the little 3rd grader at the lunch table that nobody cared if I was there. And I thought, just gonna go to my room and cry. Because I felt, I felt like I didn’t belong. Now, it’s not that they perceived that. That was my little lie of the enemy that was speaking to me at that moment.
Nancy Bowens00:13:24 – 00:13:50
And I really had to process that. It’s like, okay, why am I feeling like this? What is it that that’s causing that? And it it had nothing to do with the people. It had everything to do with my own insecurities and my own struggle. And I had to just go up to the my room and spend some time with the Lord. And and and he’s like, okay. But I’m I’ve brought you here. I’ve called you here. You maybe don’t feel like you belong, but you belong here right now because I’ve brought you here.
Nancy Bowens00:13:50 – 00:14:31
So then I had to go back through and say, okay, now what is it good that you have for me here? What gold nuggets am I here for? And I had to do the work, but I had to to not rely on somebody else to make me feel like I belonged. I had to do the work myself. But how often do we see someone sitting by themselves or they’re new? You know, I talked to my granddaughter who’s starting school this week, and I said, no. Look for the little kids who don’t have anybody sitting with them at lunch. Look for the little girl on the bus who doesn’t have anyone who sits with her. Offer to let her sit with you. You know, we want we all doesn’t matter how old we are. We all want to feel like we belong and that we matter.
Nancy Bowens00:14:31 – 00:15:00
And I think as women of God, we have the ability to do that. That’s a gift. You you spoke a little bit ago about presence. And I have a little phrase that I often will share with my clients and and even with my friends as we we talk about, you know, the everyday things of life is, like, I wanna be where I am. I wanna be where my feet are. I wanna be there all there all in. I don’t want the distractions to pull me away, but how easy that is for that to happen.
Yeah. Wow. I love how you said I wanna be where my feet are. Mhmm. I mean, how plain is that? I mean, that is a great thing to think about. You just wanna be present right there, present. And, yeah, I think that story oh, so many can relate to that story. You know, me included.
Because when you go sometimes, whether you’re at a conference, maybe it’s a work conference, maybe it’s just, you know, a meeting or a gathering, and people start talking and we fall into that comparison trap too, oftentimes of, wow, this person has done all of this stuff. You know, who am I to think I belong here? But when you said you went to your room and you sought the Lord about it, and I think that is part of how you help people with mindset shifts and kind of looking at what is really going on here and changing it to be, like, you know, I know for me personally, it does help when I feel like, wait a second, I’m making this all about me. And yeah, it is partially about me because God’s brought me here for a reason, but it’s not all about me. So like you said, when you left the table, the other people, unintentionally probably, you know, didn’t mean that at all. But we take those things personally, and, we we allow that to sink in. And and like you said, the enemy will will tell us these lies that, you know, we don’t belong, we don’t measure up. Ultimately, what he wants us to believe is that God lies. You know, that that what God says is not true.
And so that’s what he he tries to do from the very beginning with Eve. He wants us to question god. Like, did he really say that? Does he really love you? Does he believe you know, all these different things. So I appreciate you sharing that because we can definitely relate to those situations, you know, and feeling like we’re we don’t belong, you know, and trying to the whole thing about trying to feel good enough and the fact being that, you know, we’re we’re never good enough. You know, we’re only we’re only, you know, enough through Christ. That’s the only way that we, that we’re good enough, because we don’t have to strive and earn anything. But, you know, of course, we have to do the work. He has us at different places like he had you at the conference, so that you can study and show thyself approved, you know, and just, like, learn about the craft that he’s called you to walk in.
So yeah. So, you enjoyed the time at the conference. So that was kind of like a a mind shift, a perspective shift. So how other how are other ways that you help your your clients in doing that?
Nancy Bowens00:17:50 – 00:18:29
One of the things that I work with my clients is we work on needs and values. Because if you have there’s there’s such a difference between what I need as a person and what matters to me and what’s valuable. And if you can get a grasp on what you need, like, I need order in my life. Okay, I need things to be orderly. So when things are not when they’re out of order, when I feel like things are askew, whether physically or mentally or emotionally, I don’t function as well. And so I know that that’s a need for me. So I I can be purposeful about how I change, how I live my life so that things are in order. Okay? Now I’m not talking perfectionism, although there’s that sometimes too.
Nancy Bowens00:18:29 – 00:19:02
But it’s it’s just I I need things to be orderly. But what I value is I value relationships. Okay? So, I mean, there may be 4 or 5 things that are valuable to you, that matter to you, that are pretty much nonnegotiables that you have that you know that this is who I am. This is what I stand for. This is who I want to be all the days of my life. But if I am out of alignment in a relationship, for instance, then I have angst and I have frustration and I might have fear. I don’t feel secure. I don’t feel, confident.
Nancy Bowens00:19:02 – 00:19:38
So you can see how these different things, they play on each other. So one of the things I work with a lot of my clients is, let’s work on what it what is what do you need? What are what’s important to you? What do you value? As Christian women, so often, I come up against women who are like, well, I don’t need anything. I have everything in Jesus. Well, amen to that. Yes. But he created you to need things too because that’s how he’s designed you, and there’s nothing wrong with that. And so there’s that whole mindset shift of I can need something, and that doesn’t make me a needy person. Just because I need things doesn’t make me needy.
Nancy Bowens00:19:38 – 00:19:39
It makes me real.
Wow. That is pretty profound. Just because I need things, it doesn’t make me needy. Mhmm. And I love how you respond to someone that says, well, I have all I need, you know, in Christ, which, yes, he he definitely that is a true statement, but, and he provides for all of our needs. But he he also, like, you know, in his word, he tells us that when we ask for wisdom, we receive it, you know, liberally. Like, when we ask so we have to ask, you know, we have to we have to, like, acknowledge the need and then request make make our request known to God as the word says. So I love that you steer your clients in that direction of the difference between that and also what they value.
So that that is really precious. If I could say Yeah. What they value is precious. Yes.
Nancy Bowens00:20:36 – 00:21:13
Well, and I find so many women, they they struggle with that, struggle with being able to say, this is something that I need. And when, you know, as a young mom, new married years ago, many, many, many years ago, I, I felt like God would fit in. I mean, I don’t think I ever verbalize this, but it felt like God should fit in this night nice, neat little box. Well, then life happens and you realize that God does not fit in that nice, neat little box, and he never intended to fit in a nice, neat little box. Now he has boundaries. He has guidelines. He has things that will never ever change. His his word is true.
Nancy Bowens00:21:13 – 00:21:51
He’s faithful. He will never leave us, never forsake us. All of those things are absolutely true, but it doesn’t mean that it’s always he’s not gonna fit in the box that I make for him. And one of the things that I love to work with women on is helping them see that it’s okay to ask questions. It’s okay to wonder. It’s even okay to be angry sometimes with God because he his shoulders are big enough, my friend. They’re big enough to hear all your questions, all of the things you wonder about, and all of the things that aren’t making sense to you or the the dreams that you had that didn’t come true, his shoulders are big enough, and he says, come bring it all to me. I got you.
Nancy Bowens00:21:51 – 00:21:52
I got you.
Wow. That is really comforting too and such wise advice. You know, wisdom right from straight from the Lord, you know, to help people to see, like as you said, I love how you described it as thinking about God as being in this box. So we we kind of limit God to our own human limitations, and that’s not who God is at all. And I know oftentimes people can get very discouraged, and I and I think that is great that you encourage people, even even if they’re angry, to express that to god and to share that with him. I mean, he knows, but he wants to hear. He wants that relationship to deepen. And as as we draw nearer, even in those kind of situations, we actually are growing spiritually because we are having a conversation with God.
We’re talking with him. We’re connecting with him. And oftentimes, these things come, they stem, like, from, what we feel are unanswered prayer, right, or what we feel like you were saying. If we have a dream and it doesn’t quite come true, it doesn’t mean that it will never happen, or it could mean it will happen, but not in the way we would expect because it might happen in a different way. Or if we had gone this direction, we would have missed this. So, so do you what kind of, like, homework or exercises do you have your coaching clients do to to do the mindset for where they’re walking right now, the season that they’re in. Mhmm.
Nancy Bowens00:23:25 – 00:24:17
One of the tools that I use is it’s, it’s like a life map that we work through, and we work through the different seasons, the different decades. You know, it’s kinda like looking back, you know, looking where God has brought you, looking at where you are now, looking at where you’re hoping your life will go or what your dreams are. And and but before you know where you’re going, you have to kinda look back and see where you’ve been. And to see it’s like the the story of, you know, David. He he he was he came with his 5 stones, and he threw them at Goliath, who threw one at Goliath, and he fell. But that wasn’t the first time he trusted God. He trusted God, you know, with the lion and the bear and when he took care of the sheep, and he knew God’s faithfulness, all of the many, many years before that. And so he knew that God would be faithful.
Nancy Bowens00:24:17 – 00:25:08
And he knew as he became king, he knew even through the hard things with Saul that God was gonna be faithful, not because he was just faithful in that moment, but because he was faithful all of those years before. And when we as women began to to look back and acknowledge and really take a moment to see and and really savor those times that God has been with us, it strengthens our faith and it enables us to move forward and to really lean into, okay, God. I don’t see my next step. I feel like I’m walking in the dark. I have no idea what’s next, and I feel like I’ve missed you. I’ve got a 1,001 questions, but you were faithful here. And you’re I can choose to believe that you’re gonna be faithful again, even if it doesn’t look how I think it’s going to look. Even if there feels like there’s disappointments.
Nancy Bowens00:25:09 – 00:25:54
So we do the life maps. We do brainstorming together. You know, we’ll just say, okay. Start throwing out some ideas or throwing out some words. We’ll do, like, a mind map where, you know, I’ll have a big whiteboard, and we’ll say, okay. Let’s just start talking about where what is it the project you wanna work on? What is it that you’re thinking of? What stands in the way? Where do we have to go? So we just we do a lot of brainstorming together and start creating plans. It’s like, okay, what’s an area that you really want to work on? What’s the thing that’s in front of you? What’s the struggle? What’s keeping you? How can how can we put something into place? What would help you move forward or even just take a baby step? It isn’t you know, Rome wasn’t built in today, and these changes don’t happen overnight. So, it’s a, you know, it’s a working together, but it’s their plan.
Nancy Bowens00:25:55 – 00:25:57
It’s not my plan. I’m just there cheering them on.
Yeah. That is a great way like, tools that you give them, resources, and the way that you work through it. Mhmm. Like, first, you build that foundation of what who god is and his character and how he’s been faithful, and I think that’s so important and amazing. And then you you work with them on where they wanna go and try to find out what’s holding them back because, you know, they have to do the work. So that is important. You know, you’re helping them to see what work they need to do to get to where, you know, god is calling them or, you know, what the next step is. Because I love how you were talking about sometimes we could be in the dark, and we don’t know what the next step is.
And it can be it can be a scary thing. And, you know, the word tells us not to not to be afraid and do not fear. And, so it is a it’s a trust thing. You know, like that game when you play where, you’ll stand and then people stand behind you and then you fall back and hope they catch you.
Nancy Bowens00:27:00 – 00:27:01
Hope you catch them. Yes.
You wanna do this with people you can trust. Right? You don’t wanna just do a pranksters or somebody who you cannot trust. You find out later that, you know, when they wake you up after you, you know, hit your head on the floor. But, but, yeah, that is so important, the trust thing. So I love that you will bring that into the forefront first to look back and see where you’ve been. Because sometimes it can be really hard to look back, isn’t it, Nancy?
Nancy Bowens00:27:29 – 00:28:00
Yeah. And I think because women struggle with well, women, men, all of us, humans struggle with the disappointments. You know, so many people feel like, had I missed you? I missed an opportunity. I’ll never have that opportunity again. I woulda, coulda, shoulda. And we spend so much time, you know, thinking about all the things we shoulda done. And we feel like we’re never gonna have that opportunity again. But as long as we’re breathing, we have his mercies are new every single morning, and we have an opportunity every single day.
Nancy Bowens00:28:00 – 00:28:31
Put our feet on the floor, deep breath. Okay, God. You and me again, here we go. You know, one of the questions I love to ask the women that I work with is, you know, when you know, especially the midlife the midlife women, and and that they are I mean, love them all, but they’re my favorites Because, you know, they’ve they’ve raised their kids, they’ve done their career, they’ve done a lot of things. They’re kind of looking to the next stage and think, okay, now, what’s next? And so I’ll say to them, okay, now, this is your chance. And I’m gonna ask you this question. What do you wanna be when you grow up?
That’s so amazing.
Nancy Bowens00:28:33 – 00:28:49
And they stop and think. It’s like, I’ve you know, been a long time since I’ve allowed myself to think about not just what everybody else thinks I should do or all the things that I think I should do or feel like is expected of me. If I could, what would I do?
Yeah. Wow. That really gets the wheels turning.
Nancy Bowens00:28:55 – 00:28:56
Mhmm.
It’s it’s almost like giving permission to say, you know what? What what do you want? Yeah. Because as women, you’re right. You know, as women and, you know, maybe not all women, but I think most women are kind of wired to be a nurturer and wanna help other people and put people before their own needs, which, you know, serving is what we do. We as as followers of Jesus, we serve others unselfishly and and, you know, die to self and all of that. But it is healthy to step back and say, well, wait. I am a child of god. He created me, and he created me, and he has these good works he created in advance for me to do. So what are they? And yeah.
And they change based on the season. And oftentimes, like you were saying, midlife women are some of your favorite clients to work with because it can feel a little bit strange when identities get wrapped up in the roles that we play Mhmm. Rather than who we truly are. So how would you encourage someone today who’s listening? And maybe their kids are now leaving the nest, or maybe their young moms who have littles at home, and maybe they’re starting school, or maybe they’re starting to homeschool them. You know, there’s all different seasons. How would you encourage them today in whatever they’re they’re facing?
Nancy Bowens00:30:25 – 00:31:12
Love that. I think the encouragement that I would have for them is God sees you, he sees your dreams, and he is so delighted at all that he has placed within you, that you are gifted, you are called, he has a plan, and he has a purpose for you. Start digging. Give yourself permission to try. Give yourself permission to step out. Give yourself permission to step back if you need to, if it’s a season of rest. But the permission is a huge thing because, I don’t think it has to be one or the other. I don’t think that we have to only say I’m a servant of the most high God, and I’m gonna just take care of all of my people.
Nancy Bowens00:31:12 – 00:31:45
That’s amazing. Yes. Indeed. But it’s it’s can be yes, and, yes, we are that because that’s what he’s called us to be. And yes, and he’s also called you to maybe be a writer, maybe he want you wanna be a nurse, maybe you’ve always dreamed of doing improv on a stage, maybe you would love to go bungee jumping, or maybe you just want to walk around the block alone. Maybe it doesn’t, you know, it doesn’t have to be this giant dream. Maybe it’s like, you just want to use just want to be alone for a little while. Give yourself permission that it’s okay to do those things.
Yeah. That’s beautiful. Yeah. Because when we’re refreshed, we can better serve others. Mhmm. Because when we’re completely emptied out and drained, we’re not gonna be, you know, able to help anyway. We’re not gonna be able to do what we’re being called to do, and and we need to be healthy disciples and, you know, healthy in whatever God’s calling us to do. And whether at like you said, if if somebody wants to become a nurse.
You know? You know? You never know what dreams people have had that they think just because it didn’t happen at the time they thought it should happen, that they missed the boat. I have a good friend, Debbie. She became a nurse. And, you know, I don’t know what she might have done before that, but she didn’t start right out of high school, I don’t think. Mhmm. I mean, I can be wrong, but I really don’t think she started right at house high school. So sometimes we think, like you were saying earlier, we can believe the lie that we missed the boat. We can believe the lie that what’s ever happened is the only opportunity we’ll we’ll ever have.
We tend to beat ourselves up for things in our past. Maybe maybe it was mistakes that we made, maybe it was bad decisions. But, sometimes we can look at bad decisions and think, yeah, but if I had made this other decision, I wouldn’t be right here where I am now. So I have to look at the fact that God gets us on whatever plan and track if we’re following and abiding in him. Mhmm. That’s such the key right there, you know, staying close to him. So that encouragement that you just gave is gonna really help someone listen today because I really truly don’t believe that it’s by any accident that we listen to a certain podcast or a certain radio show or, you know, I don’t think it’s by any accident because there’s millions of them out there. And so if someone’s listening right now, you know, they needed to hear whatever God had put on your heart to share.
So I appreciate that so much. And, because you’ve had some really difficult journeys in your own story, and, overcoming some different things. If if you could share just a little bit about some of the things that you’ve had struggled with in your past. And and, I mean, I don’t know. Have you always felt always felt I can’t talk today. Have you always felt called to coach or was this something that came through after your writing, you know, that you wanted to get you were blogging and, how did that come about?
Nancy Bowens00:34:10 – 00:34:52
You know, I I read a I picked up a book one time on a vacation, and it was talking about it was just this little random library on an offside street in the city of Chicago. No. I couldn’t find it again if I had to, but it was a book about coaching. And I picked it up and I thought, this is what I do, like all the days of my life, and I didn’t know there was a name for it. I never even knew that there was such a thing. So I started getting interested in it started doing training, got some certification, began building my business. But at the heart of that was, I’ve always wanted to be someone I’ve always had the heart to help other people. And I think over time, it’s evolved, different focuses throughout the the seasons, different, different times.
Nancy Bowens00:34:53 – 00:35:37
But as I’ve walked through my difficult seasons, had a cancer journey several years back, went through treatment, went through surgery, went through all of those things. And, that was a tough season. Went through a season of caring for my elderly mom in her home. My husband and I actually moved into her basement and lived in her home, for almost 4 years, caring for her so that she could stay home instead of having to go into a nursing home. That was an interesting season. And during that same season was when I was going through cancer. So, you know, it was it was a couple of things together right there, kind of some some big ones, but God was faithful. My life did not look at all like I thought it would look like in my early sixties.
Nancy Bowens00:35:37 – 00:36:07
I said to my husband, bless you. Bless you. Bless you. Did you ever think you’d be living in your mother in law’s basement at 62? He’s like, no. Never ever thought that would be. But I wouldn’t trade that time and that that those moments with her for anything. So thankful that we could be there. You know, so seasons like that, you know, you you have to adjust and you have to suddenly step back and take a breath and say, okay, God, am I on the right track to, you know, I it’s it’s so often in our lives, we think, okay, we’re making a plan, we’re gonna do this thing.
Nancy Bowens00:36:07 – 00:36:52
And this is what I think we’re gonna do. And then God says, just kidding. You thought that’s what you were going to do, but I needed you to write this down, so that I could have you available to pick this up. And if I hadn’t gotten you here, even though you thought you were doing this, I said no, but I have this for you. And you would not have been available if you hadn’t had to lay that thing down. So I think being willing and being open and being open to change and open to just releasing, there was there was a time when I had something that I wanted so badly. And I was like, I just just want this so bad, and I just know that this is what I’m supposed to do. I know this is Ted’s plan.
Nancy Bowens00:36:52 – 00:37:16
I’m just sure of it. And I had someone who was praying over me, and she said, I want you to take your hands. Look at you know, just think of your hands as you’ve got your hands just tight, tight fisted. This is what you wanna hang on to. And she said, okay, open them up. She put a key inside my hand, just a loose key, a house key or something. And then she had me close it again. And then she said to me now, let the key go without opening your hands.
Nancy Bowens00:37:16 – 00:37:55
I’m like, well, I can’t do that. She said, that’s a picture of what you’re trying to get God to do. He has something for you, but until you give up that key or that other thing that you think is so important, he can’t put anything else in your hand because they’re already full. So I have never forgotten that. So it’s like we need to to hold loosely the plans and the purposes that we think God has because he is full of surprises. He is full of ideas and full of creativity, and he loves so much to show us what he has for us. He delights in spending time with us. He delights in seeing us step into our gifts.
Nancy Bowens00:37:55 – 00:38:35
And for those young moms who feel like, oh my goodness. I’m never gonna see the light of day again. This is gonna be my life. Or it could be that that woman who was in her twilight senior years and feels like, what have I done with my life? I’ve got nothing to show for it. God has something for each one of us. It’s like, are we willing to be open to letting him surprise us? Letting him breathe into us all that he has for us because he’s got something for you. He’s got something for me, and he is just waiting for us to let go of what we’re holding on so tight for and opening it up for that opportunity that he has for us.
Wow. Wow. That is so beautifully said. And, you know, even going back to the beginning where you were explaining how you were in this bookstore, this kind of random bookstore that is wasn’t random at all, actually. And then you found this book and you realized, this sounds just like me. It wasn’t like you were getting a book to learn how to do something. I mean, of course, you know, you have to continually study and all that. But it was something you were you were already gifted and equipped for, and now you knew what it was and had and it had a name.
So there’s a lot of times when we’re using our gifts and talents, and God is equipping us all along the way, doing things that eventually will look a little different. But we can look back like you always tell your clients. You know, look back, and we can see how God has equipped us in the different roles, in the different places he has put us, and how we can use those gifts. And, I think it’s just so important for people as you remind your clients to use their gifts. And, that’s why, you know, I feel like the fierce calling is where your passion, compassion, and conviction intersect, and and that’s where you feel strongly. That’s where you wanna make a change. That’s where you feel, like, you need to step out. It’s kind of like fire in your bones kinda thing.
And, to encourage people to walk in that. And I I love that you do that and that you’ve always been called to be an encourager and help people. And I’m sure you’re great at organizing and those kind of things, because you can help people organize their thoughts. You know, sometimes we think, oh, we need someone to organize our pantry. Well, we need somebody to help us sometimes organize our thoughts? Maybe organize our plans. Maybe like you say, you have the you do the mind mapping or, you know, something that you can physically see and then start to put it into some type of order. And sometimes people just need that little bit of help from someone who has that gift. Because we don’t all have the same gifts.
Mhmm. I mean, some of us might have similar gifts or maybe it might be the gift of teaching or, you know, we might have similar gifts, but they’re not all used the same way. So we all need to step up and and use our gifts and help other people in the unique way that only we can. Because even if someone else has a has a same gift or has the same calling even, something similar, it never will look the same as ours because we’re uniquely made. So, yeah. So if there’s anything else that you feel led to share with the listener right now or maybe some encouragement before, you share how the listener can connect with you.
Nancy Bowens00:41:20 – 00:42:02
Sure. No. I think one of the things to think about is you you mentioned just a minute ago about we all have different gifts. What I have found so often is that the gift that the thing that comes easiest for you, we think it’s easy for everybody because it’s easy for us, but it’s not. And so think about the things that you love to do, that light your fire, that gets you excited, that bring you that inner joy that you just can’t even put a name to because it’s just it’s just it’s you get delight out of it and it’s fun. Do those things and then keep doing those things. I think about somebody who perhaps maybe they love hospitality. They love to have people over.
Nancy Bowens00:42:02 – 00:42:39
And then there’s somebody who they would rather eat sour grapes all day long versus having, you know, hosting a party in their house. It just terrifies them. They’d rather stand on a stage of, you know, speaking to a 1,000 of people than have people in their home. But for someone else, it’s easy and it’s fun. We’ll do those things and keep doing them because that’s where we’re just gonna keep growing. Find the thing that you love to do and find an outlet for it to keep doing it because those are the things that God has put within you. He’s uniquely called and equipped you for such a time as this.
That is so encouraging to someone listening right now. And it and it is true when you’re operating in your gifts, you just feel like, wow, I was meant to do this, you know. Mhmm. And it’s kinda like, as I say, your wheelhouse. So that is really encouraging and a great reminder to look at the things that you enjoy doing, that you love doing. But the point that you made was something that we don’t often think about. What comes easy to us may not come easy to someone else, and we think that it does. Kinda like similarly, we we think we can’t teach anyone anything, but we don’t realize that there’s somebody that might be a step behind that could learn from what we’ve experienced just as we could learn from someone a step ahead of us.
So so I love that so much, Nancy, and this has been so encouraging. I’m so glad we were able to have this time so you could share this wisdom with the listeners today. And I would love also if you could share how can the listener connect with you, find more about your coaching and your your writings that you have on your site?
Nancy Bowens00:43:43 – 00:44:26
Absolutely. I would love to connect with your listeners. My website is just my first and last name, nancybowens.com, nancybowens, b o u w e n s.com. And you can connect with me there if you do the nancybowens.com/connect. There’s a way to sign up, and each each week, I send out a a prayer focus on usually the 1st part of the week. And then later in the week, we talk a little bit about living a life of welcome and hospitality and connecting with people in your in your life and how to make room at the table for for more who God has for you. And so there’s, you know, we’ll you’ll get a little bit of nothing nothing huge. Not gonna blow up your inbox, but it’s just a way to stay connected.
Nancy Bowens00:44:26 – 00:44:42
So nancy bowens.com/connect. Go ahead and sign up there, and and I would love to reach out to you if you got any questions. That’s my website as well, nancybowens.com, and, can find out more about my coaching if that’s something that you’re interested in. Love to connect with you.
Great. Thank you so much, and I’ll have that in the show notes so the listener can find that later if they’re driving and can write it down. And so they can look it up and check-in with you. And I love how you remind people about having a seat at the table, you know, kind of it goes back to what you were talking about earlier, you know, sharing about the conference and all of that. And, so I think it’s so important, to encourage people to know that they have a seat at the table and and that you send these encouragement pieces out, you know, weekly, and it’s just something people need. It’s not it’s not something that’s gonna be a heavy, like you know, some of so much of our email is heavy sales pitch for this, that, and the other thing. It’s like, it’s nice to get something refreshing in your inbox. So I hope people will take advantage of that and check that out.
So very good. Well, Nancy, this has been so amazing, and thank you again for being on the show. It was great to reconnect with you.
Nancy Bowens00:45:40 – 00:45:42
Appreciate it. Thank you so much. It’s been a delight.
Yes. And I hope to have you back on because I always like to say, you know, I like to have you back on the show. And, it would be a joy and a pleasure to check back in with you. And, yes. So friends, when you’re when you’re checking out the show, be sure to check the show notes so you can find the link and connect with Nancy. And, Nancy, I will be watching out to see what happens next. I love following you on social media too because you share a lot of good stuff there too. So I’ll have that in the show notes as well.
And God bless you and your your coaching ministry, and encourage others to walk in their fierce callings. And we will talk soon, friend.
Nancy Bowens00:46:25 – 00:46:26
Thank you so much.
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