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Welcome back to Fierce Calling with your host Doris Swift, where we talk with guests who are taking action where their passion, compassion, and conviction intersect. In this episode, we welcomed back Candice Reyes, the Executive Director of Her Well, a faith-based ministry inspiring women to reclaim hope and regain their voice after trauma.
From facing her own traumatic past to leading a pioneering organization, Candice’s journey highlights the power of healing through faith, counseling, and innovative therapies like ART. Her Well offers free counseling, essentials, and a transformative space for those in need.
I know what Candice shares will encourage, inspire, and challenge you, so listen in while I have a chat with Candice Reyes.
Episode Highlights …
- Candice’s Personal Story: Candice bravely opens up about her youth and early married life marked by sexual assaults. With resilience, she found healing through Bible study, personal counseling, and a technique called Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART).
- Her Well’s Mission: Her Well is more than just an organization; it’s a lifeline for women reclaiming their voice and hope after trauma. Offering free counseling, spiritual guidance, and practical support, Her Well is a testament to faith and healing.
- Healing Through Forgiveness: Discover the power of forgiveness not just as an act towards others, but as a pivotal step in personal healing.
- Supportive Community: Her Well encourages public involvement and donations to expand its outreach and impact.
- Beyond the Program: Graduates of Her Well not only achieve personal transformation but can choose to mentor new participants, further nurturing a supportive community.
My Previous Episode with Candice
Candice Reyes: Three Simple Practices to Help Cultivate a Relationship with God
Connect with Candice!
Candice Reyes is a Speaker, Author, and Executive Director of Her Well, an organization that guides survivors of unhealthy sexual relationships to overcome the fear of their past and heal mentally, physically, and spiritually. Candice wrote two books both highlighting 3 Biblical Practices to ignite our relationship with God. Her first book, A 15-minute “Date” with God: Strengthen Your Relationship in 3 Ways, made the Top 100 Books sold on Amazon and won the 2021 Christian Indie Award for the Bible Study Category. Her second book, Awake My Soul: 3 Ways to Ignite Your Relationship with God guides men and women on a personal one-on-one with God in a minimum of 15 minutes. Candice is the Executive Director of Hooks2Crook Ministries, Inc. a Non-Profit organization. On top of all that she is a wife of a phenomenal artist, Elias Reyes, and a mother of three a-dork-able kids ages 23-14. Candice hopes to encourage, equip, and endorse others to step out in faith utilizing their God-given talents and gifts for His glory.
You can connect with Candice at https://herwell.org/ and there you’ll find social media links for Facebook and Instagram.
If you’re in need of Her Well services to regain your voice and hope, click on the “I NEED HELP” button at the top of the Her Well homepage.
Connect with Doris!
- Connect with Doris at https://dorisswift.com/ For speaking engagements, visit her booking page at womenspeakers.com
Join us for this heartening episode of Fierce Calling and be inspired to deepen your biblical study and walk with God.
What Threatens to Steal Your Joy?
Check out Surrender the Joy Stealers: Rediscover the Jesus Joy in You 6-week Bible study rooted in John 15. You can find more info at https://dorisswift.com/book/
Let’s Stay Connected!
Find my free resources including Fear Fighting Bible Verses, Simple Tips for Sharing Your Faith, Surrender the Joy Stealers, Step Out of Your Doubt and Into Your Calling ebook, and more on my dorisswift.com homepage!
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Thanks for Listening!
I hope this episode with Nancy encouraged, inspired, and challenged you to cultivate community, live and walk in the value and worth God gave you, and take action where your passion, compassion, and conviction intersect. You’ll find links in the show notes to connect with Nancy and with me.
If you’re looking for a speaker for your next women’s conference, retreat, luncheon, or workshop, reach out and connect with me on my speaker page at https://www.womenspeakers.com/florida/edgewater/speaker/doris-swift
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Stay tuned for more amazing content and remember to check the show notes for all the links mentioned.
Thank you for being a part of our community. We are grateful for your continued support and encourage you to embrace the unique gifts that make you magnificently you.
I hope you’ll join me next time when I talk with another woman who is taking action where her passion, compassion, and conviction intersect …
Until then friend, have a blessed week, and I’ll talk to you soon.
With love and joy,
Doris
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Transcript
Surrender the Joy Stealers Bible Study …
Doris [00:01:45]:
What is threatening to steal your joy? What is it that feels so heavy right now that you could barely stand? God has a plan, and his plan is to surrender it. Surrender it to him. It might be a prodigal. It might be a relationship, a marriage, something with your job. So many things. We have so many amazing blessings, but there are so many things in our life that threaten to steal our joy. I’m Doris Swift, author of the award-winning 6-week Bible study, Surrender the Joy Stealers, Rediscover the Jesus Joy in You. And it helps women rediscover the overflowing, ever-present Jesus joy within that fills, empowers, and ripens the fruit that God produces in our lives.
Doris [00:02:36]:
Using personal and biblical stories, I share how you can identify your joy stealers, surrender them to God, reawaken the joy within, and share the joy with others. You can do it on your own or with a group. Check it out, friends. Surrender the joy stealers. Rediscover the Jesus joy in you. It’s available on all the online retailers. It’s time to take your joy back.
Timestamps …
00:00 Passion meets action: Encouraging women’s divine calling.
04:38 Grateful for God’s work, emphasizing community healing.
08:42 Facing fears to help trauma survivors heal.
10:35 Rape distorted intimacy; counseling restored biblical intimacy.
14:59 ART enabled narrative change and emotional healing.
23:13 Started ministry for sexual assault survivors’ hope.
26:18 Encourage clients to progress at their pace.
28:21 Case managers support clients; graduation celebrates achievements.
33:39 Helping survivors understand consent eliminates self-blame.
36:08 HerWell supports women escaping domestic violence situations.
41:42 Corporations donate, paint logos; provide safe housing.
46:34 Helping woman with loan, car, and housing.
50:43 Expanding faith-based aid across multiple states.
52:13 Reach out for free counseling support here.
55:36 Connect: You’re fearfully made, God values you.
Now On with the Show …
Hey, friends. Welcome to episode 193 of the Fierce Calling podcast. I’m your host, Dara Swift, and I am so thankful you’re listening in. We are talking with guests who are taking action where their passion, compassion, and conviction intersect, which is our definition of a fierce calling. And they are using their gifts to impact the world for Christ to encourage, inspire, and challenge other women to step out of their doubt and into their calling. This week, I have a returned guest you will love to hear from, my friend, Candice Reyes. She has a lot happening, and a lot has happened since she was last on the show. We’re going to talk all about her ministry work right now with Her Well, and we’re gonna talk about what that is and how you can become involved in that or how God might inspire, encourage, and challenge you to do something similar in your neighborhoods, in your neck of the woods, wherever you are, because every woman of God has a fierce calling.
Doris Swift00:01:17 – 00:02:12
And we are going to chat about so many amazing things that are going to really encourage you today. So I hope that you will stay tuned. Friends, thank you so much for listening, and we will get into the show in a moment. But if you are looking for a speaker for your next women’s event, please check out my speaker page at women’s speakers.com or on my home page, you’ll see a link for my speaking events at dorisswift.com.
Doris Swift00:03:04 – 00:03:45
Welcome back to the show. Today, I’m excited to welcome back a return guest, my friend and sister in Christ, Candice Reyes. She is the executive director of Her Well. Her Well is an organization that helps women reclaim their hope, regain their voice, and resist their urge to isolate. So we’re gonna hear more, and it’s an exciting thing. And I had the great privilege of meeting Candice in person and also being a part of a conference more than a mom, and it was really a cool experience and god ordained. So thank you for being on the show.
Doris Swift00:03:45 – 00:03:47
Welcome back, Candice. It’s great to have you.
Candice Reyes00:03:47 – 00:03:50
Thank you, Doris, for having me. I’m glad to be here.
Doris Swift00:03:50 – 00:04:38
Yeah. I’ve been looking forward to having you back on the show, and some things have changed since our first episode. And if you wanna go back and listen to the first episode, all you have to do is search for Candice’s name, but I’ll have the link to that original episode in the show notes for this episode. So you can find it and you can hear about that and then hear how things have changed and what god is doing in Yes. This new ministry that has come forth and is changing lives. So, Candice, I would love if we could get into it and you could share a little bit about your story and how you’re taking action, where your passion, compassion, and conviction intersect, which here we are at Her Well. So go ahead and share with us. We’d love to hear.
Candice Reyes00:04:38 – 00:05:37
Thanks, Doris. I really am very grateful to be here and even talk to your listeners. I just I’m amazed at what God has done, and how he has shaped my story to be able to reach so many more, for his for his glory and his kingdom. One of the things that’s been very resonant on my heart is the love of our father and how he is just running after his children. He wants them to reclaim that hope. He wants them to be able to regain that voice, and he urges them to not isolate any law because we were built for community. And so in my journey, which I shared with you before was that I was in my youth, I was actually that I was raped. And then, on a on our honeymoon, I had another encounter, that was a sexual assault situation by a police officer because I asked for a clean bath.
Candice Reyes00:05:38 – 00:06:17
And during that time in my life, I was just filled with just worry and fear and anger. And I didn’t know if I could trust anybody. I didn’t know if I can even trust the Lord. My vision of, intimacy, it was completely broken. And, as I would started attending counseling sessions and the Lord, he really started working on my heart. One of the ways that he did that was through bible study. So I’ve attended bible studies all my life. I was raised in the church.
Candice Reyes00:06:17 – 00:07:08
And during this time of bible study, I really felt like there was something more. I was missing something and, kept just trying to figure it out. Finally, there was this thought that came across my mind of when you go on a date with your husband, do you bring anybody else in on this date? And I’m like, well, no. And and it was like, well, then why would you wanna have a date with me, Candace? Do you continue to bring somebody else in? And that was just a jaw dropping moment for me because I didn’t realize that the Lord really wanted to speak to me in a intimate, personal way that he was speaking to these these incredible writers as well. Like, he can talk. He talks to all of his children. There’s not anybody that’s special. Like, God doesn’t have a favor.
Candice Reyes00:07:08 – 00:07:52
And I love that thought that God doesn’t have a favor. What he does for 1, he will do for the other. And and so, as I began this journey with him and learning how to date the Lord, cause I really didn’t know or understand what that looked like. He took me down, 3 ways, pray, read, and praise. And those are the, that’s how I, use my time with him now. And, I ended up writing a book called, Awake My Soul That just is a blueprint that allows people to learn those processes on how to develop that intimate relationship with the Lord. And it was on that journey that the Lord started saying, okay, it’s time. It’s time to have a really hard conversation.
Candice Reyes00:07:53 – 00:08:42
And for 11 years, I taught in the schools. I was the pregnancy education and parenting coordinator. And so I worked with students who were either pregnant or pregnant or they were parents, and they were trying to navigate this whole thing. And as I would share my story, I would hear miss me too. Miss me too. And but they they just didn’t have a place to go and find that hope again. And so as I started working with, these students and hearing their stories and tending my own counseling sessions and spending time with the Lord, all of a sudden, it was when we were watching a video on a c section. And during that time, I showed this video to our students because they’re very afraid of a c section.
Candice Reyes00:08:42 – 00:09:41
They’re afraid of the pain. And, and so I wanted them to see that there wasn’t pain that they needed to be afraid of because the doctor takes care of all this situations to ensure that you don’t feel that. And so we’re watching this c section, and I was asking them going, okay. So what what do you hear her say? Is she screaming? Is she yelling? Like, the lady on the table, she’s screaming, yelling, and they’re like, no. And I said, what are you hearing her say? I feel pressure. And that’s when it hit. All the fear that I have in going into a ministry that serves survivors who’ve experienced sexual trauma or domestic violence, I was afraid of pain that I was going to experience because I knew I had to face my own pain first before I could actually step into this world to be able to help others reclaim their home. And I didn’t wanna be known as that girl.
Candice Reyes00:09:42 – 00:10:19
I, you know, that girl that has all the trauma and all the things. I really was like, Lord, I would need you to protect me in this. And he’s been so, so good because, he’s helped me see that, yes, that’s a part of my story, but that’s not my whole story. That’s not everything that’s happening with me. He’s got so much more and bigger plans, and that’s just, you know, you talk about a masterpiece. Well, that part of my story is just one color of my masterpiece. It’s not the full thing. My masterpiece isn’t all yellow.
Candice Reyes00:10:19 – 00:10:34
It isn’t all teal. It isn’t all purple. It’s multiple colors with so much life in so many different places, that he is gonna use my story and other stories to help others reclaim that hope.
Doris Swift00:10:35 – 00:11:49
Wow. That was beautiful. And all that you’ve shared right there and going back to when you were talking about because of your experience of having been raped, it it was something that you you then viewed intimacy in a different way other than biblical intimacy that Correct. We see in the word. You know, biblical intimacy and intimacy with the Lord, intimacy with a spouse. It’s, something that can get clouded and distorted because of the way the world has twisted sex is the way it connected to the violence of it. And, that and, you know, violence. And and then, I guess, I would I would imagine you dealt with some shame and humiliation and all those feelings that come with that, and going through the counseling was very helpful, but that you found your way to get that intimacy with the Lord that you were so seeking because it was how we’re designed to have that community with him.
Doris Swift00:11:49 – 00:12:48
And I just also love that you have the pray, read, praise, and, you know, and and your book, Awake My Soul, we’ll talk about that, how how listeners can grab that later on in the show. And and I think that’s really cool how you had to work through some things, but that God used your experience in order to then serve and help others who are going through it. But as you said, that you had to face your pain first, and sometimes we tend to stuff things down and carry it with us, and it comes out in different other ways, different behaviors, different habits, different different things that happen in our life that are connected to something like that, like a trauma like that, and we don’t really even realize it. But how how was that journey of you going through and facing what happened? What was something that maybe was a turning point in your life?
Candice Reyes00:12:51 – 00:13:53
So, definitely, it was my time with the lord for sure, because not only was I learning who he is for myself, but I also started to know that I could trust him in who he is and what he says he will do. My faith began to in him. And, the other the other big shift for my my healing journey was, it’s a practice called ART. ART is very close to EMDR. So if any of your listeners have heard EMDR, it is a, it’s a type of trauma counseling session. It’s pretty much a no talk counseling session, which I did like. But it is, it allows you to process that trauma in a very safe manner. ART, what I liked about it was the fact that it was a longer session, so it’s a 90 minute session typically.
Candice Reyes00:13:53 – 00:14:59
Mhmm. And, as you are using rapid eye movement or, or or doing a tapping, method, you’re able to, process the the trauma in your mind. You’re you’re visualizing it, but then after that, you after you visual it lies at once, then you’re you go through your body and wonder and you and you see how is my body responding to that memory. And then you go back through it again and you focus on your body and how your body is experiencing this this trauma because our body does tell our story. There are there are things that happen, to us and we may think we’re stuffing it down, but really our body, it’s taking on the brunt and it’s it lets us know, hey, this something’s wrong. Something’s not right. And and so learning how to be very aware of your body and how your body is responding to things. That’s that’s a good thing.
Doris Swift00:14:59 – 00:14:59
Mhmm.
Candice Reyes00:14:59 – 00:16:04
Because if you’re aware of that, then you’re able to make some adjustments or changes. And so with the ART, it allowed me to, go through that process. But then the second time I came through that, that memory, I was able to switch the narrative. So I could tell I, if I didn’t want the event to happen, then I could act as if it didn’t happen. But for me, my biggest thing was I wanted to fight this time. I didn’t want, to just freeze and that was what I was so angry about was that I and so now when I share my story, I can actually see myself fighting, which actually get which gives me peace, as I’m telling this story. And then there, there’s another session that allows me to just kinda put this colored wallpaper over any any of that memory that could cause some triggering. And so what happens during that time if the if that memory tries to come up, it’s the wallpaper that I see instead of that actual memory.
Candice Reyes00:16:04 – 00:17:10
So, ART really did help get me to that next level to where I could share my story without being traumatized all over again. And also it allowed me to, get to that point in my life where I could forgive. And I would say that is something that’s really hard to do when you’ve been harmed by somebody intentional, is to find how to forgive them. And learning that forgiveness is not just, it’s not for them. Forgiveness was never invented for the person who’s harmed you. It was and God knew we needed to have forgiveness, a part of us so that we can move on and be able just to let things go and to give it back to him and let him be the judge and let him be the protector and let him be the one that that is involved with them. And it was then that I knew, okay. I can step into this now.
Doris Swift00:17:11 – 00:17:34
Yeah. Wow. I love that. I was looking it up when you were talking about the, ART accelerated resolution therapy. Yeah. Because I had heard of EMDR, and I’ve studied I studied psychology and, Christian counseling, so I was familiar with some of the things. But I had I don’t know if I’ve I’ve studied on this or heard of it, but I and, because I know there’s art therapy.
Candice Reyes00:17:35 – 00:17:36
Yes. There is. And that’s
Doris Swift00:17:36 – 00:18:41
a little different than this, but I love how it helped you to reframe the situation and, like, return power to you in the situation that you could actually fight back. I had, Eva Marie Everson and Miriam Feinberg, VanMoosh on the show. Their episode has already aired. They wrote a novel based on the story of Tamar in the Bible. And Tamar, you know, had this rape that occurred by her half brother, and her brother Absalom tried to cover it up and, you know, it was a whole big mess and the family dysfunction was just kind of a mess. But, but it was really eye opening because women who read that novel are, you know, it’s based on truth. So everything in there is, you know, her story, but it adds on, and you can, you know, listen to the episode for more information on the book. But it just kind of reminded me about what you were saying because what Miriam shared was interesting.
Doris Swift00:18:42 – 00:20:09
She said that in Israel, back then, the culture, like, would have been around the time of King David. The culture was if a woman was raped out in a field, like, while she was tending sheep, it was okay she wasn’t guilty if she didn’t scream because nobody would have hurt her anyway but the sheep. But if she was in the city, she would be expected to scream for help or else she is just as guilty as the man. I don’t know. It was just she explains it so well, but it’s hard to think about when we’re told because you you hear also, which is what was mentioned in the show, that show, you know, that just be quiet and don’t put up a fight because it could save your life and, you know, different things like that. So so I think this therapy was so healing for you because it enabled you to do that and and have a different perspective when those thoughts came into your mind, and, you know, now you’re able to share that. And I love that you were working with, pregnant students and also students who are already parents because sometimes we alienate those students and they don’t feel because I, you know, I’ve shared my testimony when I spoke at the conference, you know, about having a teen pregnancy and feeling like I didn’t belong and I didn’t go back to school because at that time, it was a little different. You know, it was back in the eighties, so dating myself.
Doris Swift00:20:09 – 00:21:00
But, you know, it was a little different, than it is today. But I think it’s amazing that girls can go to school and continue their education while they are pregnant. Was that in a, a public school or was it a Christian school? Public school. Yeah. So that’s, that’s very powerful that you were able to encourage in that way. And it continued with your equipping of how, you know, God does work things together for good and uses every part of our brokenness, the broken story that we might experience for for beauty and for for good. And, and so I appreciate that so much, and it it it definitely makes sense how it leads into this ministry. So how did this ministry get started? And explain how you came up with Her Well.
Doris Swift00:21:02 – 00:21:08
Because I think it has to do with I know her well. But but explain that because it’s a it’s a powerful story.
Candice Reyes00:21:09 – 00:22:10
Well, a buddy of mine, he knew my heart about the whole situation and what I was wanting to do. And he was like, so how what are you gonna name this? And I have no idea. I said, can’t can’t wrap my brain around what to call it. He was like, tell me what you wanna do. What is the mission? And so I started sharing, I just want her to be okay, I want her to be well, I want her to to be able to, you know, be just to be whole again. And he was like, so you want her well? And I said, yes. And he goes, and I he goes kinda like the woman at the and I said, yes. Because it was her encounter with Jesus that ended up making her feel complete and seen and able to shout to the world of who this is and and being that she was the first for him to say who he was to her, like, how priceless and be able to to say that.
Candice Reyes00:22:10 – 00:22:46
And so, that is how her well was was birth is, because we wanna make sure that she is well her as well. And then a friend of mine who’s on our advisory council trying to figure out t shirts because, and she was like, I think we should put, I know her well because we all are her. And we know her well because of the the stuff we’ve experienced. So why not stand up for her?
Doris Swift00:22:46 – 00:23:07
Wow. How it’s connected with the woman at the well because I love that. And just thinking through it, that’s that’s an amazing way. So if someone is out there trying to think of a name for a ministry or organization, it’s like, talk it out. Talk it through. What is your heart? And you want her to be well. So Yes. Perfect.
Doris Swift00:23:07 – 00:23:13
Perfect. Well, thank you for sharing that because I think that’s a very important thing for our listeners to know.
Candice Reyes00:23:13 – 00:24:44
I I knew the Lord was really asking me to step into this role, to start to start a ministry that helped survivors, specifically a sexual assault at the time or sexual trauma at the time, reclaim their hope again. And, and as I started kind of mulling this over, I went and and spoke with another teacher. He’s, he taught English at the school that I was at and I asked him, I said, hey, do you know of a place out in the Brookshire area that maybe we could use? Because he lived in Brookshire and I shared with him the vision that I had and he said, you know, let me do some research on it and I’ll get back to it. And so he did, and he came back and he said, Candace, the building that you were thinking about is not available, but our church has a building behind our church that’s not being used. Would you be interested in using that as your location? And I said, okay. And so I had to go and approach the board, the deacons and, share with them the vision that I had and unanimously, they said yes. And so in November of 2022, we had the yes, for the actual center. And then on March 20, March 25, 2023, we have our grand open.
Candice Reyes00:24:44 – 00:25:43
So it was like a fast turnaround, and we had several different churches come along beside us, fixing it up, making it look really beautiful, getting it ready for the survivors that would come and have the services. But while this time, as we were prepping the building, I started reaching out to several Christian licensed therapists and asked them, I said, here, this is what I’m looking at doing. Would you be interested in donating services? And They said yes, unanimously. Like it was incredible. We now have 15 counselors that work with us that are contract counselors and we are able to do 24 counseling sessions. And so the way we designed our program is we have 2 sessions a month that we offer for our clients. And so it’s a 12 month time frame. And the reason why we split it up, is because working through some really hard trauma, it really is not.
Candice Reyes00:25:43 – 00:26:17
It’s not fun. It’s not fun to unpack that every single week. And we saw a lot of our clients falling off the council wagon. They just didn’t want to go. However, those who were doing every other week, we had better success. And so we started saying that that was the approach we’re going to work on. Now, does our client have the ability to say, hey, I want to see a counselor 3 times a month? Yes. We go at their pace, and we encourage them to go on God’s pace, though.
Candice Reyes00:26:18 – 00:27:50
So even though it may be their pace, we also encourage them to go at his pace and and help them understand what that looks like and how like their body feels like if you were, if you’re trying to hurry up and get through this counseling sessions, because you just want the stuff to be over with, start recognizing some of the triggers that maybe are starting to rise up to the surface or the anxiety and the stress that you’re starting to have. You don’t have to go through that if you’re going at his pace. And so those were warning signs for our ladies that, okay, are we sure we’re really needing to move this fast or should we back it off and continue to go at his pace? Because one of the things for me I learned was when I went with his pace, the pain that I was so afraid of, I ended up feeling more like pressure and that’s what I wanted. I wanted the ladies to be able to just to feel the pressure. Now it’s uncomfortable, it’s not fun. And we talk about, as you see on my logo has a butterfly, we talk about the butterfly transformation process and how when the ladies walk in or men because we do also offer services to men as well. So, whenever our clients walk in, they’re at the caterpillar phase, they’ve been looking for for nutrition and and trying to find ways to heal and get through this and just just, I guess, just not thrive, but just be able to to stay alive to to be able to have what they need. Survive.
Candice Reyes00:27:50 – 00:28:21
Thank you. Yeah. Where I was looking for. Thank you. And so they’re they’re just that in that caterpillar freeze. But once they step into her well, they then get their chrysalis. They get this shell that protects them, and that shell is there for them, to allow them to turn into the goop that’s necessary for those wings to develop and form. And so they stay in that little shell for as long as they need as they are going through their counseling sessions.
Candice Reyes00:28:21 – 00:29:17
And we also have, case managers that call them throughout the week, checking in on them, making sure that they’re doing okay. We have group sessions once a month as well. And then when they hit their 12 month mark, they become eligible for graduation. And during graduation, we actually allow we we buy butterflies, live butterflies for them to release and they get to invite their family and all that. And it’s a beautiful time because they have done the hard work. They have done the hard work to get to this place in their life and to reclaim their life. We’ve had women recently who graduated, who contacted me and they’ve been single all, they’ve been single this whole time because they’ve been afraid. They’ve been afraid to date, they’ve been afraid to, they just felt like all men were just horrible people and because they that was their experiences.
Candice Reyes00:29:18 – 00:30:04
However, given this time, they have been able to work on themselves and heal. And now I’m having conversations with, I think I’m ready to start dating again, or I’m gonna step into ministry. I feel the Lord calling me into ministry and lead Bible studies or it’s just been really, really remarkable to watch God move in this in their healing journey because now they’re stepping in to all kinds of different places that they would have never they would have never even touched because that intimacy at the beginning, it was broken. Their perspective of it was broken. They didn’t trust anyone. And now they know they can trust the father and they can step into things because he organics it.
Doris Swift00:30:04 – 00:30:28
Wow. That is just so beautiful how this ministry, this place that women can go to and feel safe and not only go there to talk about what’s going on, get professional counseling, be able to get services without having to worry about cost because they get the services free
Candice Reyes00:30:28 – 00:30:29
Mhmm.
Doris Swift00:30:29 – 00:31:26
Because this is run by donations. And so when we think about that place of healing that they can come to, how it trickles down not only in their life, but in the lives of everyone around them, their children. This is like a generational transformation. And it can break cycles and start a new and fresh journey, how God says, you know, he makes all things new. And and the whole beautiful thing about the butterfly and that you have them release it at the graduation, and it’s, gives them that also that feeling that they’ve walked with with the Lord through this whole entire thing, but he’s not gonna leave them. He’s still gonna be there because when they step out, it’s life is hard. It’s not easy. So you help give them the tools and resources to equip them.
Doris Swift00:31:27 – 00:31:32
So how how does that look after they leave the program? What happens after that?
Candice Reyes00:31:33 – 00:32:04
So for our graduates, they’re always able to come back to any of our group sessions. So they are able to do that. They have they still have a, their case manager checks in with them. Instead of once a week, they do it once a month. And we also ask if they want to be mentors, if they want to come alongside somebody else coming into the program because they’ve done the they understand it. And a lot of times we have, that yes. They want to give back. They wanna be a part.
Candice Reyes00:32:04 – 00:32:20
And so then they go through a training process, a training class on how to be an advocate and how to walk with somebody on this journey as well so that, they are able to give back and just support other survivors.
Doris Swift00:32:20 – 00:33:28
That’s amazing. An amazing opportunity for them to be able to serve others and use the experience that they’ve gone through and then how it shifted. You know, everything shifted and changed, and now they have a new fresh perspective on life, on relationships. You know, they’re they’re starting to step out and step out of the fear of what was holding them back before. And if this ministry was not available, how much harder their life would be to be able, like you said, to just survive and not really feeling much hope for what the future could look like and maybe not holding out hope for having a healthy relationship. I mean, you help them have healthy relationships first with with God. You know? Cultivate a healthy relationship with God, and that’s the foundation. So you’re helping them build that firm foundation to continue and then a healthy relationship with themself.
Doris Swift00:33:28 – 00:33:38
Because, you know, oftentimes when things happen to us, we have to learn to love ourselves. Right? Have you experienced a lot of that?
Candice Reyes00:33:39 – 00:35:05
Yes. We have. And helping them understand that it wasn’t their fault. That’s also been a really big, shift for for them. They a lot of the the survivors that are coming through our organization, they have wrestled with for many, many years that it was their fault or they could have done something different or if I wasn’t here or if I didn’t drink this much, if I would and helping them understand what true consent means and how if you are intoxicated, you do not legally have the the right or ability to even give consent. So that is not part of the you know, and and just helping them remove that shame and guilt, and owning the fact that the only person who could have stopped what happened to them is the person who harmed them to begin with. And that’s the only person. And, you know, I think right now, Doris, what what I’m starting to see a shift is, as far as the need, we, we have now opened our doors to survivors who have experienced family trauma, and, this the need for shelters has been very apparent, is is actually really hit us in the face because anywhere you look that that they’ve got incredible shelters that are out there.
Candice Reyes00:35:05 – 00:36:08
But the problem is is they’re full. They’re acidity. And, actually, yesterday, we had a phone call from a a young woman, and she was desperately needing some place to go, and she was afraid for her life. And we don’t have a shelter yet. That that is our goal to be able to purchase land and be able to house a tool, crisis shelter out here for women and children. We now are partnered with a organization called safe stay, and safe stay allows us to, get a hotel room for that that survivor anonymously. And we can, no credit cards, no IDs, or anything like that, but they can stay at a hotel that’s considered a safe stay location. And they can stay there up to 24 days, which is it’s not a whole lot, but it does allow them to to stay, and get a better idea of what our next steps can be.
Candice Reyes00:36:08 – 00:37:16
And so, that’s hopefully a next part of ours. Our journey here at HerWell is that we would have the funds available to allow women to stay at a hotel at one of the safe stays, and then have one of our case managers come and work with them and and and prep them on. Okay. Where can we stay? Do you have a friend? Do you have family? Do we need to move you to another state? Do we need to, like, what is your comfortability? Do we just need a job? Do we need to learn how to do financing, financial management? Let’s talk about groceries. Let’s talk about an interview. You know? And just getting them something to feel like I can do this because a lot of times, Doris, somebody who is running from a a, family violent situation, it’s gonna take over 7 times before they actually truly say I’m gonna leave. And that is most dangerous time for a survivor to leave. That is that is usually, even after they leave, it’s still not safe yet because that perpetrator is looking for them and they know it.
Candice Reyes00:37:16 – 00:37:35
And so we wanna come alongside them and say, okay. Let’s find ways to make sure you are protected, that your family is safe, and how we can help you. So that’s just something that’s really been at the forefront recently in this field. I’m starting to to see more and more me.
Doris Swift00:37:35 – 00:38:33
Yeah. That was really eye opening for me because I had heard that when they’re leaving is the most dangerous time, and you don’t really think of that. And, unfortunately, it’s, you know, it’s dangerous all the way around because some women never can leave. I know there was a family member back in in a well, in our family a few generations ago that I know of that had a very dysfunctional abusive relationship. And as family members would describe it, that knew her, she would leave and he would come follow and beg for her to come back and that things would be better and I won’t do that again and I love you, you know. And then they know exactly what to say and then they go back. And sometimes women have found that they’re stuck because of maybe the culture that they grew up in. You know? Some cultures, you know, were like, you just stay and take whatever, you know, as the way.
Doris Swift00:38:33 – 00:38:44
So it’s hard to break some of those almost generational curses, you know, that come. But, but giving them a safe place. Now a safe stay, is that a local organization? Is it national?
Candice Reyes00:38:45 – 00:38:57
Oh, it’s a national organization. And so any organization can, that does help with, so for instance, if we had a person call us from Florida Mhmm.
Doris Swift00:38:57 – 00:38:57
Because
Candice Reyes00:38:57 – 00:39:52
I know that’s where you’re at, and they said I need a place to stay. This is the situation. We could help find them a hotel in Florida to stay at and then have a case manager go and talk with them and and do some, some just as risk assessments and figure out what’s the best way for us to go to the next steps since we do know that shelters right now are at capacity. Just being able to, help in that capacity of of helping them find a place that’s protected in a way. Like, it’s it’s a covering, they’re able to have a bed, have AC, and be able to sleep for for maybe maybe that’s the first time that they have actually been able to sleep because they they aren’t afraid in that moment. They’re away from that situation, and they’re in a place that
Doris Swift00:39:52 – 00:39:52
Yeah.
Candice Reyes00:39:52 – 00:39:54
Nobody knows. So
Doris Swift00:39:54 – 00:40:39
That’s great. So it it far reaches. That’s really amazing. And for more people to get involved in in that because, you know, I I know sometimes people might think, well, can’t they just go to family or whatever? And sometimes it’s the family that’s abusive, so they don’t have a safest family. They may have ran from an abusive childhood and and maybe they don’t have healthy parents they can run back to, and so then they kind of fall into that same cycle and fall into the arms of someone that is also unsafe, and so they don’t really have a place to go. What are some of the needs that HerWell has, and what are some of the resources that you offer for women beyond the counseling?
Candice Reyes00:40:40 – 00:41:41
That’s a great question. So, one of the big needs that we have right now is funding for our for the the land. Right? So our, organization is really hoping to be able to purchase at least 5 or 5 to 10 acres of land and be able to put these tiny home communities on there. Sometimes shelters aren’t safe. Having a survivor who’s experienced trauma go and stay with another person that they don’t even know who they are in a room and they’re sharing a room, that person’s had trauma, you’ve had trauma, and you’re trying to sleep, that’s that’s not, you know, gonna go really well. They’re the stress and anxiety, it’s it rises. And so we wanna do tiny home communities using containers and remodeling those containers. And we’re even looking at, creating a, a way for people to actually purchase, containers, like donate the containers.
Candice Reyes00:41:42 – 00:42:43
And if you have, like, a a large corporation or, a company, we will then paint your logo on that container, and your container will be, you know, the it would be known as the residents of, you know, of that building or of that company. But that gives the client her own space. It allows her to have her own bed, own bathroom. It allows her to have peace. And then we want, we are also needing donations for the safe stay hotel as well. Currently, right now, we have gone after a grant. We’re waiting to hear back from it, and, we’re hoping with this grant, we’ll be able to to do at least a 100 women to to be able to go to a safe space, for up to 5 days. And that’s a huge need for our organization and for the ladies that are coming into our organization meeting.
Candice Reyes00:42:43 – 00:43:38
But as far as, like, what services we currently offer right now, we offer the 24 counseling sessions, which is really unheard of. A lot of, crisis centers typically do 10 to 12, and we do 24. We also provide another, type of mental health. It’s called, we use a software called MindLift, but it is narrow feedback. What’s really neat about it is it’s a headband and it scans your brain waves, and it can tell where the trauma is being stored in your brain. And when, you watch this little screen through their app and you have the headband on, and if you are if if that part of your brain has been triggered, the screen will go dim. It’ll almost go to a black, but your brain wants that screen to come back on. It wants that positive reinforcement.
Candice Reyes00:43:39 – 00:44:35
So it figures a new way to go about in the brain so that it makes new pathway to not to not go through the part that has the trauma. It’s so neat because God gives us the power to captivate thoughts. But sometimes we need help on learning how to captivate our thoughts and to make new pathways so that we aren’t always in this this traumatic stage. And so the mind lift helps helps us make those new pathways. And then we also have faith and finance classes. So we teach how to budget, we teach, how to, tithe and the importance of tithing. We talk about in our group sessions, we do a lot of explaining to them how the brain of the trauma works. So that way, they, they understand why it’s why things are happening.
Candice Reyes00:44:36 – 00:45:15
We also provide basic self defense training classes, and we open that up to the community. And so we we do that once a month, and that’s been really fun just to hear from some of the women that come. They bring their daughters and especially those who are about to go off to college. They come and do a basic self defense training class just so that she has the tools and resources. So she our our goal is to help women not freeze. Yeah. To have the tools that they need so that they don’t freeze, freeze, and be able to get distance between themselves and whoever is trying to help them. And then we have, medical follow-up care.
Candice Reyes00:45:15 – 00:45:52
So we provide, STI tests, pregnancy tests, and well women checkups for free. So we partner with the clinic here in town, and so they send us the bill when we send we pay that bill for that lady. So that way, it doesn’t hit the insurance. It doesn’t you know, I we feel that they have already paid enough as it is. And so if there’s ways for us to help, then that’s what we wanna do. We also advocate for them. We go we can do, crime victim compensation forms for them as well. We do not ask any funds from crime victim compensation for the counseling or anything like that.
Candice Reyes00:45:52 – 00:46:34
What I love about our program is the fact that we do the 24 sessions. They are contract counselors. So once they’re done with their 24 sessions, they can continue to see that counsel. If it was somebody who’s only with our organization, they would have to stop and then go back and find somebody else and tell the story all over again and all that. With us, you don’t have to. You get to keep that person because they have a private practice. And so if they if this client has filed for crime victim compensation, then guess what? Crime victim compensation will then start paying for additional, counseling sessions for that person as well because we don’t use any of those funds. So we help out with that.
Candice Reyes00:46:34 – 00:47:24
We also help, right now, we’ve got a lady who’s seeking hard. She she got into an accident and she is upside down on her loan. She didn’t get gap and, she’s struggling and she’s she is a maid and she’s trying to, you know, make sure she’s got food on the table and go to the houses that she’s cleaning and all the things, but she needs a car. And so we’re in the process of trying to help with that. And then we also are helping find new places to live for a lot of our ladies because this the place that they are at, was not some place that they needed to remain. So they have the funds to move, and so we, we are looking at finding them a new shelter, new place, that is for them, that’s going to help them, continue. So
Doris Swift00:47:25 – 00:47:58
That’s amazing. That is a a lot. That is truly amazing. And I I love too when you’re talking about the pathways that can change in our brain. That is so fascinating. And, I know we’ve talked about things like that before on the show and have had some counselors and and others on the show who who talked about that, about the neuroscience and all of it. You know, and how our thoughts make pathways in our brain. And this way, it kind of reroutes the trauma.
Doris Swift00:47:58 – 00:48:38
It’s kind of like when you get to a construction zone, there’s a detour, and you just take a detour on a safe road because if you go through the construction, it’s not safe. So I that’s that’s really, really cool. Fascinating. I love that. And another way to equip and give women tools that they can take with them forever and how they can continue to see the same counselor. That’s awesome too. And so, yeah, I just it this is just really powerful, and this ministry is something that you probably look at and go, wow, God. How did that happen?
Candice Reyes00:48:39 – 00:49:17
Yes. Yeah. Yes. I mean, to even think that we were we’ve only been around for a year and just what God is doing and how many people are are finding that hope again. They’re reclaiming it and just, and people that wanna be involved and help out, and it’s just been really amazing. And I love that not only do we help the survivor, but we also help the whole family unit. So, we don’t just give services to just the survivor that comes through our our doors. If she’s got kids, they get counseling too.
Candice Reyes00:49:17 – 00:49:56
They have secondhand trauma. Some of them may have firsthand trauma. If it is a husband, say, for instance, in fact, we’ve got several husbands that are coming through. They were not perpetrators, but they are working, walking with their spouse and her healing journey, and they just don’t get it all the time. And and so having them say, okay, I don’t get this. I don’t understand why you get upset with this. I will go and find out how to kinda be better of a supporter for you. And so they attend counseling sessions through us as well so that they can be a better support system for their their wife.
Candice Reyes00:49:57 – 00:50:00
Because our goal is to help whole fame to help families become whole
Doris Swift00:50:00 – 00:50:40
That’s precious. And healthy. You know, that the whole family can come and get the counseling that they need to, like you say, have that wholeness in their family relationships and to understand some of the things that are happening and why they’re happening and how those things can can change and grow and heal. So that’s that’s awesome. So how can a listener connect with you, find her well, you know, donate and get involved in some way because, I mean, you just never know what God’s gonna do. There there is gonna be her wells more than 1, I think, center.
Candice Reyes00:50:43 – 00:51:35
Yes. Well, and that’s our goal. Absolutely. I mean, we have already been talking about, okay, how can we do this in other other other states, other locations because it is needed. And we are a faith based organization, and there’s very little faith based organizations when it comes to this particular type of, help because the state has a huge, tie with funds. And so it is, it’s it’s just a challenge, to have that faith base. And but you know what? The Lord has been faithful, and he has been good, and he’s helped helped us be strategic with what state funds we will say yes to and what state funds we will not say yes to, and be very, very much saying, this is designated to God alone, and so we will not will not back down on this. We will have, Jesus in our group sessions.
Candice Reyes00:51:35 – 00:52:12
We will talk a plan. We will, you know, share this information with others and, and they know we are a faith based organization as well. So we just are you know, we just continue to pray for that. But if anybody wants to connect with us, it is through our website, herwell.org. Again, herwell.org. You can also find us on Facebook. We have Instagram page as well. And if you are in needing of services, I I don’t wanna leave here and think that none of your listeners, have experienced this and because I I that’d be naive of me.
Candice Reyes00:52:13 – 00:53:06
And so I really would like just if this is you, if you can relate to this type of trauma, and maybe you haven’t truly allowed the Lord to take that part of your heart and help heal it and restore it, I wanna encourage you to reach out to us. Again, our services, they are free. We can find you a counselor. I’ve got connections with different counselors in different states, so we can definitely see if we can find you a counselor that will work for you, but reach out to us. Log on to herwell.org and click I need help, and you’ll do the intake form. And as soon as we get that intake form, somebody will be giving you a call, and we will and we’ll talk you through the process of how we we operate and do things. Just because we have group here doesn’t mean you can’t join. Oh, no.
Candice Reyes00:53:06 – 00:53:26
We do it virtually, so you can join on Zoom. Like, you can still be a part, and we to make sure that each woman, each man, each child understands that God doesn’t want you sitting in this. He he wants you to reclaim that hope and regain your voice and not my spirit in your wall.
Doris Swift00:53:26 – 00:54:09
So beautiful. And I love that it’s not just someone in your community that can get help. It’s it’s open to her. All the hers, it’s open to her and her family. So I think that’s that’s a beautiful thing, Candace. And, I appreciate you so much being on the show. And this has been amazing, and I love talking through this because statistically, as you said, you know, someone who’s listening has experienced that type of trauma. And so, it’s it’s our heart that we would help to encourage them to reach out for help and not to isolate and to find true healing through Jesus.
Doris Swift00:54:09 – 00:54:22
So we appreciate your message and and the work that you’re doing. It’s just fantastic, and it’s just a joy to have you here talking about it. Thank you so much for being on the show. I hope to have you back on.
Candice Reyes00:54:22 – 00:54:25
Thank you so much for having me. I’d love to be back on.
Doris Swift00:54:25 – 00:54:59
Alright. Great, friend. Well, we will talk soon, and God bless you. Friend, thank you for listening today, and I hope this conversation with Candice really blessed you and encouraged you. And I pray that there was something in this podcast episode that you really needed to hear because that’s how God works. You know, he leads and directs us to things that will encourage us. And so, if you have any questions for Candice, you can reach out to her and find out more about her well. And I have the links in the show notes as I said earlier in the show.
Doris Swift00:54:59 – 00:55:35
And so check that out. She would love to hear from you. And, Fran, I would love to hear from you as well. And I would also be so appreciative if you would share this episode with a friend. And if you could write and review the show where you listen to podcasts, I would love if you would do that. It would really help others to find the show. And so thank you so much for for doing that, for considering doing that, and I would love to hear your thoughts on, how fierce calling has maybe blessed you or has impacted you in some way. It’s encouraging.
Doris Swift00:55:36 – 00:56:12
Sometimes we’re talking in a mic, and we’re just wondering who’s actually out there listening because you’re not just a number. You are fearfully and wonderfully made by God. You are a child of God. So if you, could reach out and I would love to hear about how any of the episodes have made an impact in your life. So, friend, I hope you’ll join me next time when I talk with another woman who’s taking action or her passion, compassion, and conviction intersect. Until then, friend, have a blessed week, and I’ll talk to you soon.
Thank you for listening to this episode that is part of the Spark Media Network that can now be heard on the Edify app.
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