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Hi Friend,
Welcome to this new episode on the Fierce Calling podcast! We’re so glad you’re with us—whether you’re a regular listener or a new friend stopping by.
🎙️ This Week’s Episode: An Honest Caregiver – Ann Coker’s Reflections of Love, Loss, and Legacy
On episode 223, Ann Coker returns to share from her new book, An Honest Caregiver: Facing the Reality of My Husband’s Dementia. Ann Coker cared for her husband, Bill, for 14 years after his Alzheimer’s diagnosis. She opens up about the raw, real, and holy work of caregiving—the struggles, the moments of failure and frustration, and how God met her in the valleys.
You’ll hear how journaling became her lifeline, what it was like to face grief, and how she was encouraged to dig deep and be fully honest by her daughter (a nurse and key partner in Bill’s care). Ann Coker also shares precious memories of Bill’s faith, stories of family teamwork, and the profound hope and comfort she found knowing Bill is with the Lord.
💡 Episode Highlights
- The power of journaling through hard seasons
- Honesty in caregiving and why it matters
- Navigating hospice and end-of-life moments
- How faith, family, and community can help
- Leaving a legacy through shared words
📚 Ann’s Book & Podcast
- An Honest Caregiver is available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and directly from Ann Coker (signed copies available).
- Bill’s sermons live on through the “Words of Endearment with Bill Coker” podcast—find it on any major platform!
👂 Listen In & Be Encouraged
If you or someone you know is a caregiver—or may be one in the future—please share this episode! You’ll find hope, practical wisdom, and the reminder that you are not alone.
Listen to Episode 223 now [on our website]!
🤝 Connect with Ann
- Email: al2coker@gmail.com
- Podcast: “Words of Endearment with Bill Coker” (new episodes post on Wednesdays)
ANN L. COKER is the widow of Bill, a former pastor and professor. Ann received a BA in English from
Asbury College, Wilmore, KY, 20 years after graduating from high school in Mobile, AL. She is the
author of Journey with Bunyan’s Pilgrim and a contributor to The Woman’s Study Bible. She has served
in three pro-life agencies. She continues to compile her husband’s messages for publication. Currently,
Ann lives in Indianapolis, IN, with her married daughter and husband. The Cokers have four children,
ten grandchildren, and fifteen great-grandchildren. Ann’s hobbies are making greeting cards, reading,
sewing, and working on crossword puzzles.
🙏 Your Story Matters
As always, remember—your journey, your fierce calling, and your honest story can comfort and encourage others. Where can you share your experiences this week?
Grace and peace,
Doris
Host, Fierce Calling Podcast
What Threatens to Steal Your Joy?
Check out Surrender the Joy Stealers: Rediscover the Jesus Joy in You 6-week Bible study rooted in John 15. You can find more info at https://dorisswift.com/book/
Let’s Stay Connected!
Find my free resources including Fear Fighting Bible Verses, Simple Tips for Sharing Your Faith, Surrender the Joy Stealers, Step Out of Your Doubt and Into Your Calling ebook, and more on my dorisswift.com homepage!
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Thanks for Listening!
I hope this episode encouraged, inspired, and challenged you to cultivate community, live and walk in the value, purpose, and worth God gave you, and take action where your passion, compassion, and conviction intersect.
If you’re looking for a speaker for your next women’s conference, retreat, luncheon, or workshop, reach out and connect with me on my speaker page at https://www.womenspeakers.com/florida/edgewater/speaker/doris-swift
Let’s have a chat about your next event!
Stay tuned for more amazing content and remember to check the show notes for all the links mentioned.
Thank you for being a part of our community. We are grateful for your continued support and encourage you to embrace the unique gifts that make you magnificently you.
I hope you’ll join me next time when I talk with another guest who is taking action where her passion, compassion, and conviction intersect …
Until then friend, have a blessed week, and I’ll talk to you soon.
With love and joy,
Doris
Transcript
Doris Swift [00:00:10]:
Hey friends, welcome back to the Fierce Calling podcast where I am talking with guests who are taking action where their passion, compassion and conviction intersect which is their Fierce Calling. And you are listening to episode 223 and if you’re new around here, I want to warmly welcome you. I am excited about today’s episode. I invite back my guest Ann Crocker. She was a previous guest on the show and she had a book come out since she was last on called An Honest Caregiver Facing the Reality of My Husband’s Dementia. She was caregiver to her sweet husband Bill for 14 years and she shares all about her journey and just as the title says, an honest journey, an honest telling of her experience. And you know, some of us have been caregivers and some will find ourselves in that role again sometime in the future possibly or we know someone that is currently a caregiver. Please share this with them.
Doris Swift [00:01:14]:
I think it will really encourage them. And so friends, we’ll get into the show in just a minute. But first I also want to remind you that I would love to have a chat with you if you are looking for a speaker for your next women’s event conference retreat, whatever you have going on. And so I am booking. I still have some availability in the latter part of 2026 and also into 2027, so reach out to me at daraswift.org or on my speaker page at womenspeakers.com and let’s have a chat about that. So I know if you stick around you will be encouraged, inspired and challenged by the message that Ann shares. So so thank you so much and stay tuned. What threatens to steal your joy today? When the struggles of this world drain us dry and wring us out, our desert mentality becomes fertile ground for the enemy’s lies to grow.
Doris Swift [00:02:09]:
We place our trust in what we see and feel instead of in the God we know and love. Surrender the Joy Stealers is a strategic six week Bible study rooted in John 15 that helps women rediscover the overflowing, ever present Jesus joy within that fills them, empowers them, and ripens the fruit God produces in their lives. Using personal and biblical application, women will learn how to identify their Joy stealers, surrender them to God, reawaken the joy within them, and share that joy with others. Pick up your copy today. It’s perfect for individual or group study. You can find it on all the online retailers. Surrender the Joy Stealers. Rediscover the Jesus joy in you.
Doris Swift [00:02:57]:
It’s time to take your joy Back. Welcome back to the show. And today I am welcoming back a return guest that I really enjoyed having on the show quite a while ago, my friend Ann Crocker. And we are talking all about caregiving and we are also talking about her book that came out since she was on the show last, which is an honest caregiver facing the reality of my husband’s dementia. This is a very beautifully written book. It is filled with stories and her real life journey. It’s raw and real and she shares a lot of hope and encouragement, but also doesn’t hold back and sharing the struggles. And so it’s to, it’s to help others in this journey that they might find themselves in.
Doris Swift [00:03:51]:
Ann, welcome back to the show. It’s so great to have you on.
Ann Coker [00:03:55]:
Good to be back. I appreciate the opportunity. Doris.
Doris Swift [00:03:59]:
Yes, thank you. It is a beautiful book. You had asked if I would endorse it and I put my endorsement here in the book. And I think that it’s just something that is a wonderful not only story, memoir, but a tool and a resource for those who, you know, need, need that or know someone who does. Because nowadays it’s just such a reality in our lives, you know. So, you know, and I always say how you’re taking action, where your passion, compassion, conviction intersect, which is what God’s been doing in your life. So if you could share, you know, a little bit about the story and then some about the book and what you hope that your readers will take away from it.
Ann Coker [00:04:47]:
I guess my passion for years has been journaling and that’s what has kept me grounded in faith, to show on paper what my journey is. And it also then helped in composing and collecting the stories, the journey with the caregiving. So for 14 years, Bill had dementia, diagnosed as Alzheimer’s disease. And so I knew that throughout all of that that I needed compassion, which was sometimes hard to, to give. But the Lord helped me. And then I was always confident about his conviction of faith. He would even have these little talks every now and then where he would include do what’s right and do what’s good. And it was like he was preaching again because he was a professor and a Bible languages and also a pastor in his last church for 19 years before he retired.
Ann Coker [00:06:10]:
So journaling was probably my biggest passion and led me to compose the book.
Doris Swift [00:06:20]:
Yeah, that’s really important. And I know we’ve talked about journaling before on the show and how healing it can be and also helpful because when we write things down now, now not everybody might feel like they want to do journaling or they feel like they’re not a writer or anything. But when we record things, it’s important. Like God feels it’s important to record things and record events and so that people can see his faithfulness. And when we do that, we can put our prayers, our hopes, our thoughts, our dreams and things on paper. And, you know, sometimes we’ll look back and find things that we’ve written, you know, even years ago, and think, wow, look how far the Lord has brought me and what he has brought me through and what he’s still doing, you know, his. He’s still working. And so when also we have the opportunity to turn some of the journaling into a book, into a resource for other people, it not only then blesses us and maybe our family, you know, to read the things that we write, but be able to share that with others that need to hear hope and healing and find healing, you know, in what they’re going through.
Doris Swift [00:07:41]:
So kind of refresh us a little bit about that. I think we talked about that last time my daughter.
Ann Coker [00:07:46]:
We lived. We moved to live with her and her husband. And she’s a nurse. And so she was a big part in the caregivers giving advice. Sometimes I didn’t want to hear at the time, but then knew that it was right, it was coming from her. And especially during the couple of weeks of Bill’s in-home hospice, she was a big part of that. So. And.
Ann Coker [00:08:16]:
And after I had the first draft written of the book, she went through it and she said, mom, you’re not being honest. That’s going to be your title. You’ve got. You’ve got to deal. Dig some more about your feelings and let that come to the surface. So she was a big help with the caregiving, but she was also a big help with editing and getting the book ready for publication.
Doris Swift [00:08:47]:
Yeah, that was really amazing too, how God gave her the gifting and the knowledge through her nursing. I love how she brought out the fact that you had the word honest in your title, so you really needed to live up to it. She, like held you accountable for that. So that was really good. That was really good. And it is very. A very honest book. And when you read through it.
Doris Swift [00:09:13]:
So if you would maybe want to share parts of the book that you feel like would bless the listeners. I would love if you would do that.
Ann Coker [00:09:22]:
Okay, I’d be glad to. Doris. The book is. Got four parts to it, pretty simple. The beginning, how it started, the messy middle, how it continued, and the ending, when it turned and then a final chapter on my grief journey, focus on the future, which became a new chapter in my life. But I’ll read a a few paragraphs from the book. This was from the chapter Focus on Faith. And my husband’s name is Bill.
Ann Coker [00:10:06]:
Bill may have believed he no longer had an influence in personal relationships. Yet friends wrote about his positive impact lives at church and in stores. Bill readily spoke to strangers, adults and children. He would go over to them and talk to them. Hello, how are you? People related back to him as he smiled. The main path of contributing influence became delegated to his published books and online podcast. It’s why I continue to pursue these avenues, to keep his influence going. Wisdom remained current in those messages he delivered in the church before retirement.
Ann Coker [00:10:51]:
During dementia, Bill’s prayers were about pleasing God. Bill delivered what Becky and I called talks. I referred to that earlier, although we do not unders did not understand most of what he said. We could count on those two repeated topics, doing what’s right and doing what’s good. Those phrases were heard when he talked either to me or other members of the family. And I also repeated those when Bill was asleep. He would talk in his sleep as if he were preaching and then reading Scripture. I found those same mandates in both the Old and New Testaments.
Ann Coker [00:11:34]:
In Bill’s podcast, he also repeated those phrases. I can only conclude without a doubt that Bill’s faith was always, had always been based on what was right and what was good.
Doris Swift [00:11:48]:
Beautiful. Can you repeat those phrases again for us that you found in. In the.
Ann Coker [00:11:52]:
Doing what’s right and doing what’s good.
Doris Swift [00:11:55]:
Doing what’s right and doing what’s good. Wow, that is like straight right to the point and some sound biblical truth right there that Bill continued to share. And then, like you said, he was talking in his sleep as if he was preaching. So that. That is precious. And you had compiled a lot of his preaching, his sermons over the years and put that together right in a book. And we talked about that last time. Tell us a little bit more about that.
Ann Coker [00:12:26]:
Well, when he was in the pastorate, I would say, you need to write a book. You need to write a book. And he would say, no, there are too many books out there. I don’t need to write a book. So when he got the dementia, he really couldn’t argue with me about it. So I started collecting his sermons for books. He has one on the Ten Commandments, one on the church, and then a collection of sermons, a collection of prayers from the. From the services, from them.
Ann Coker [00:13:06]:
As a pastor. So that. That composed another book. And then there was a short book on Advent about four people that were important during that time. And the one on Joseph, when he preached that, he got a lot of good comments, so he still gets good comments on that. So then my daughter suggested that people needed to hear him preach. And she says, you can use those taped messages and do a podcast. And I said, oh, I don’t know how to do a podcast, and here you are doing one.
Ann Coker [00:13:47]:
And she said, well, we know people who can help. So her son does the mix, and then we have a tech guy here in town that does the recordings. The only part I do is select what sermons are going to be on, and I write the intro and outro. And then we chose someone with a man with a very nice voice to do. To be the host and to do those. Read those intros and outros front and back of Bill’s sermons, and they’ve gotten good response, especially from people that knew him as a preacher.
Doris Swift [00:14:32]:
Yeah. Wow, that is. That is really a blessing. And he just had no idea when he was preaching these messages, how they would continue to live on, you know, far beyond him going to meet with Jesus, you know, that. And that’s what we would hope, that we would glorify God and that the messages and the words through his word that we speak out would, you know, reach the ends of the earth, basically. And through a podcast, you can reach so many more people than you would otherwise, you know, and so that. That is powerful. And when we get closer to the end of our talk today, we can share how people can find that and some other things.
Doris Swift [00:15:18]:
But I would love to first have you talk a little bit about what it was like to share the hard parts, because sometimes, you know, we want to be honoring. We want to, like, talk about God and how he helps us through and bring hope. But it’s okay when we go through our struggles to be honest about the fact that things are hard. And so how is that for you to share that? Was that healing? Was that. You know, how was that for you to share the valleys?
Ann Coker [00:15:49]:
One of the concerns I had was that people that knew Bill, knew him as a preacher or a professor, how were they going to react about this different man? Because he was. He was different during dementia. And so I was concerned that if I. I didn’t want to say anything to disrespect what he had been. So I. But I knew that the dementia had. I call it the problem or the struggle and the. But not Necessarily the cause, but I knew that that had a big impact on who he became.
Ann Coker [00:16:39]:
He was rarely violent or angry. There was a couple of times he didn’t know who I was. One time he came over to the side of my bed and said, get out. It was like there was another woman in bed with him. And. And he didn’t name people anymore. He. The great grandkids would come and visit.
Ann Coker [00:17:05]:
One of our great granddaughters came and listened to him talk. And I asked her, I said, well, what did you learn about him? She said, he can talk. He went, going. So I wanted to. For it to show Bill, but I knew that the caregiving part had to be my story. And. And I wanted my fears, failings, frustrations, all of those to be evident. So I would.
Ann Coker [00:17:45]:
If I got angry with him, I’d go in the bathroom and ask God to forgive me. And I remember one editor that went through it. She says, well, what were you doing when you were in the bathroom? And I says, well, I was sitting on the toilet. And she says, well, say that this
Doris Swift [00:18:03]:
is a real honest caregiver.
Ann Coker [00:18:05]:
Yeah. So I said, I. I needed to show that there were times that it was frustrating and hard, but God was always present to forgive and to get me back on track and do what was right and do what was good.
Doris Swift [00:18:26]:
Yeah.
Ann Coker [00:18:26]:
For him. And so that. That encouraged me because that was the purpose of the book. I wanted it to help other people. I wanted it to be a benefit for other caregivers, either those who were in the process of caregiving or could see evidence that that might be their journey down the road. And I also knew that in home care was not possible for every situation. I mean, Bill, we had our daughter a nurse, and we had a space in. In a home, and we had help with physical things.
Ann Coker [00:19:15]:
Her husband Paul, helped a lot. There was even one time when we had a grown man staying with us for a little while. And Bill fell down and I couldn’t get him up, and he wouldn’t let me touch him. And so I called upstairs and I said, Tom, can you come and help? And he came and he first just looked at Bill and talked with him and told him what he was going to do and lifted him up and asked me where I wanted him to go. And I said, well, to bed now. It’s been too long. And so it was. God provided people as well as just good sense throughout of all of that and showed me that, you know, we had those kind of helps available.
Ann Coker [00:20:13]:
But like, we. It had end up with two weeks of in home hospice care. And that was excellent. We had an excellent hospice group. But I know that’s not possible for everybody. So it’s just, you know, this was my story, not saying everybody has to do it the same way.
Doris Swift [00:20:36]:
Yeah.
Ann Coker [00:20:37]:
And even in. At the end, when Bill died, there were family members here. Our son and his son were here. And so when our. We were sitting around the dining room table and Bill was in the bedroom, and our grandson said, well, I need to get back home. So Wes went into the bedroom and came back. He says, I don’t think he’s breathing. So we all went over there, and my.
Ann Coker [00:21:11]:
My daughter took her stethoscope, and she also listened to him and just did everything that she could to see, to make sure. And then we called the hospice nurse to. And. And the funeral home because we had decided. I’m going on and on here.
Doris Swift [00:21:35]:
Oh, please.
Ann Coker [00:21:36]:
We had decided. We had decided that the funeral and the burial was going to be in Terre Haute, where we once lived at the former church. And so I called the funeral home director and he. He said, and this was. I don’t know, it’s probably nine o’ clock at night. He said, there’ll be two men come soon. So they came, and I had a package of the clothes that I knew I wanted for them to put on. And I decided that he needed to look like the preacher.
Ann Coker [00:22:17]:
So I had the suit with tie and everything. So. But that. And. And that was an interesting part of that, Doris. After Bill, after Becky said, he’s gone, I went over to him and I felt his cheeks and they were cold already. It was that quick that he moved from this, from earth to heaven. I mean, he just, you know, he was already gone.
Ann Coker [00:22:48]:
So that comforted me, really, and I was not upset that I was not there by his side when he had his last breath.
Doris Swift [00:23:00]:
Thank you for sharing that beautiful experience, you know, that you had. And, and I love how you were saying that it was your story, you know, that your. Your story to tell in your experience and, and the human side of it, you know, dealing with something that can be very stressful and very difficult and challenging. It’s okay to have those moments where you just have to go sit on the toilet in the bathroom and say, you know, God, please forgive me or help, you know, help me get through this. Help me. Help me to be able to do this, because we can’t do things like this in our own strength. And even Jesus said, you know, in John 15, he tells us, you know, that apart from him, we can do nothing. We need to abide in him.
Doris Swift [00:23:46]:
And so you sharing that it is the honest caregiver take, which was your experience and it, I believe it will help a lot of people, a lot of caregivers who might struggle a lot with guilt about, you know, the way they really feel and to kind of give them permission to feel the way they really feel. Because, you know, being human, it’s not easy and it’s definitely a hard journey, but it’s a holy journey. And, and I do love that that comes out too in your words and also how you share that not everybody’s journey is going to look the same. And the fact being that some are not able to have their loved ones stay at home because they might not have the help that you had. And that’s okay, you know, whatever works best and however the Lord leads to what is best for that particular family. And also how you shared that you weren’t actually in the room when Bill went to be with Jesus, but you were still comforted knowing that he, it was just that quick from, you know, earthly to glory, you know, and it’s that quick. And I, we had a similar experience like with my dad. We were right there with him for, for days on end.
Doris Swift [00:25:11]:
He actually was in a VA hospital at the time and the VA hospital was about an hour away. So they had an on site home there on their campus where families could stay and so they can be close to their loved one and. But dad waited until it was like just the close girls in the family were there and he waited until we went to, I don’t know, just freshen up, get coffee. And it was kind of rare that we would all leave the room at the same time. Usually we would rotate and people, somebody would always be there. But this time, no, it was not that way. And that’s when it happened. But then with my mom, she also passed away in the hospital and that was just this past January.
Doris Swift [00:26:05]:
So was. It wasn’t very long ago, but we were actually with her when she took her last breath. And that was a different experience altogether and, but also a holy, holy experience that way. But I also love how you brought up the, when you called the funeral home because I don’t think, you know, a lot of times we talk a lot about that. But I know like in our experience too, when we called, like for example, when my dad was in the hospital, he was in the VA hospital was an hour from us. You know, we’re on the east coast of Florida and, and he was actually in the facility in central Florida in the Orlando area. And they, you know, didn’t hesitate. They sent, you know, their car to go pick him up there and took care of all of that.
Doris Swift [00:26:54]:
And then with mom, same thing, although she was in a closer hospital. But, you know, and someday I might have somebody on the show to get their perspective of how they have ministered to families in that way, because it certainly is a relief to just say this. This is where we are. And they go, okay, we’ve got this, you know, we’ll take it from here. So was that your experience too? Or did you. Did you. How did you choose the particular funeral home or was it one that you’ve used before for other family?
Ann Coker [00:27:32]:
We. Before we left Terre Haute to move to Indianapolis, we had made plans at that funeral home for both Bill and me had chosen our caskets and chosen who was actually going to officiate at the service and the details. So I was. And it was a funeral home where Bill had been for members of the church. So he was familiar with the director. So that. That made it easy. I know it wasn’t long after we moved to Indianapolis, Bill kept saying, we need to make changes because here we are in Indianapolis.
Ann Coker [00:28:16]:
We ought to have the grave here. And I said, it’s not going to make any difference. And so I checked with our four children and they said, no, just keep it where it is. Let’s keep things the same. Because they weren’t. All of them lived elsewhere and they weren’t planning on, you know, visiting.
Doris Swift [00:28:37]:
Yeah.
Ann Coker [00:28:38]:
The grave site often. So. So we had already chosen the funeral home, and I had. When Bill started the two weeks of hospice care, I notified the funeral director that it wasn’t going to be long. And so that part was easy. Yeah. Two men, middle aged men, came with suits and ties on. I was kind of surprised.
Ann Coker [00:29:10]:
Here it was 10 or 11 o’ clock at night and they were in suits and ties and they asked if I wanted to leave the room while they put Bill on the gurney. And I said, no, it’s fine. And I gave them the bag of clothes and they left. My second son, John, was with me. And so after they left, there was that empty hospital bed from hospice next to my bed. And I took a shower, went to sleep easily with that empty bed. So I knew the Lord took care of everything else. Yeah.
Doris Swift [00:29:50]:
Wow, that is really encouraging to hear it. And I know sometimes people might listen to this particular topic that we’re talking about and think, oh, that’s, you know, that’s so heavy to talk about, but this is part of life. And, you know, unless Jesus comes back tomorrow, you know, we. We are dealing with these things. This is a reality of life. And it is a blessing to our families to have things prearranged so they don’t have to make decisions at the time of their life. That is so difficult. And it, you know, that’s really helpful to get our affairs in order.
Doris Swift [00:30:26]:
And, you know, as the Word says, that we make our plans, but God directs our steps, so we go through and do what we need to do to make arrangements or, you know, do our, you know, our financial business. Get that all in order and all. And it just helps our family to be able to grieve without having an added stress of making hard decisions and trying to think, well, I think they would have wanted this. Or, you know, and it also helps so that families don’t have to have disagreements over things that really shouldn’t be in the mix at that point in time, you know, that it should just be all settled. And I know we were talking about funeral homes, and there was. There’s one in town that we’ve used. I mean, we used it for my grandfather, my grandmother, and then my mom and dad and, you know, several other friends and all that. You know, so it’s just something, you know, I think that we felt like we wanted to carry on with the same place.
Doris Swift [00:31:26]:
And, you know, it is definitely a unique line of work to be in, because that’s what you’re dealing with every day when you go to work. And, you know, in ways that they can be compassionate to people and encourage them and ease their minds about things and make arrangements so that, you know, oh, they. They order everything for you and the death certificates and all of that. They notify Social Security or whatever. You know, they take care of these things that we don’t really think about, but yet we’re glad we don’t have to think about it because they take care of that for us. But anyway, so. And. And I’m really glad that this turned into a book.
Doris Swift [00:32:02]:
It. It is a beautiful book, and like I said, I endorsed it. And I would like to actually read my endorsement, if that’s okay, Ann, because it kind of sums up my takeaway from it. So let me just put on my glasses here and read that. So. All right, so an honest caregiver facing the reality of my husband’s dementia. All right, I think this is. Yep.
Doris Swift [00:32:23]:
This is mine right here in Ann Coker’s. An honest caregiver. She shares her journey as wife and caregiver to the love of her life, Bill, who ultimately passed away from Alzheimer’s disease. It is a story of love, faith and resilience, capturing moments and memories that both inspire and challenge us to trust God in every season of our lives. Anne’s memoir brings to light the everyday struggles and joys of caring for a loved one, sharing her real and raw emotions and frustrations with a touch of humor that I love so much in your book that there’s a touch of humor. I appreciated Ann’s candid retelling of their day to day experiences, both good and bad, because it helps us understand the gravity of a caregiver’s role and the impact it makes on the lives around them. Although not all caregiving experiences are the same, caregivers will find common threads and glean wisdom from what Ann learned. She shares Bible verses that brought comfort and how with the help of the Lord and her family, she found the strength to navigate the unknown road ahead.
Doris Swift [00:33:27]:
I highly recommend this book to anyone who is a caregiver or might find themselves in that role one day. The reader will find encouragement, practical advice, and a friend who wants you to know you are not alone. And it was my honor to write that. And it was just an honest reviewer’s take of this story.
Ann Coker [00:33:48]:
I think the picture captured. The picture on the cover captured what dementia is like. It’s kind of on the right side. It’s like what was before dementia and what was during on the left side. What was during dementia. I really appreciated giving that photograph.
Doris Swift [00:34:06]:
It is beautiful and it definitely depicts it in such a powerful way to have that on the cover of your book. And I think it’s good too for people who might not know much about what to expect with dementia and Alzheimer’s. And I had learned a lot more than I knew because my mom was diagnosed with dementia, but not with Alzheimer’s. And I. I just didn’t know how that played. But it’s true that not all dementia is the same. There’s different forms, right?
Ann Coker [00:34:38]:
An Right. Yeah. Yes. Even Alzheimer’s disease has several different kinds. So they’re not all the same. And. And the personality and the person themselves reflect on what the difference is. If you don’t mind, I’d like to read one other little passage about the word loss.
Ann Coker [00:35:02]:
This was about my grief journey. I thought deeply about the word loss. It’s what people say when expressing sympathy. I’m sorry for your loss. Admittedly, there’s a loss on my part. Bill is no longer beside Me in our queen size bed or sitting in the passenger seat of the car as I drive to church. Church and errands. No longer is he pointing to our clock on the wall to alert me it’s meal time in church.
Ann Coker [00:35:31]:
I now sit in the third seat from the aisle where Bill sat, leaving two seats for Becky and Paul. Bill, however, is not lost. I know where he is. I do not need to find him like reclaiming a lost object. He is with his Savior and Lord rejoicing in heaven. And one day I will join him.
Doris Swift [00:35:56]:
Beautifully written, beautifully said, and so encouraging for someone who’s listening, because you’re right, that is what we say or what is said to us. You know, I’m sorry for your loss. And, you know, it’s so funny. I’ve even noticed that I seem like I’ve said that so many times lately that when I go to, like, maybe I’ll type it or text it in my phone, you know, just. And usually follow up with a card or a call, whatever. But sometimes people aren’t ready, you know, to have a conversation, but you just want to reach out and touch and let them know you’re thinking of them. And my phone, you know how it gives suggested words as to what you should say or what word you might use next. And it just.
Ann Coker [00:36:38]:
So.
Doris Swift [00:36:39]:
It’s just like, I’ve noticed, it knows that it. I’m gonna say that I’m so sorry for your loss. Like, it gives me those suggested words.
Ann Coker [00:36:49]:
Yeah.
Doris Swift [00:36:49]:
And it’s like, wow, that is just. I’ve been saying that too much lately. Seems like, but. But, you know, just to let people know, like, you know, when I have friends who, you know, have had a great loss in their life, just to send a text or a heart emoji, maybe on a day that is, you know, a particularly hard day, like a birthday or the day when they passed away, you know, in those days that Just to let people know they’re not alone. And I love that you bring that out, that they’re not alone. And that’s, I think, an important, important message for us always to remember that we’re never alone, you know, and we always had. The Lord is with us, but he puts people in our path and in our lives to encourage us and help us and be with us. And in turn, we can also do that, as, you know, the Word says that when we go through these difficult seasons, you know, and we’re comforted by God, then we can in turn give that same comfort to others who need it.
Doris Swift [00:37:57]:
And so I Would love, Ann, if you could share any last thoughts that you might want to say to the listener right now. And then also how whoever is listening right now can connect with you and find all of these things that we talked about in the show with.
Ann Coker [00:38:15]:
The biggest lesson I learned was to be honest about it, not just with myself, but with God and with family members and others that were going through the experience. That’s what’s happening being said from readers of the book. And I can be contacted mainly by my email address, which is al2coker c o k e r gmail.com also Bill’s podcast, and that can be on any, most all servers. And that’s called Words of Endearment with Bill Coker. And it came from the title of his first book that’s on the Ten Commandments. So it’s Words of Endearment with Bill Coker. This went. It’s posted and downloaded on Wednesdays.
Ann Coker [00:39:14]:
And this week was the last in a series on the book of Ephesians. And next week starts a series on the book of Colossians.
Doris Swift [00:39:25]:
Nice.
Ann Coker [00:39:26]:
And I’m really pleased with the people that are a part of that. And I. I couldn’t do it on my own.
Doris Swift [00:39:33]:
Yeah, well, I know, like, that’s why God’s given us all different gifts and talents so we can work together, you know, as one body, but many members. So anyway, so it’s helpful. We definitely need help with tech and, and things like that. So I think that’s fantastic that your daughter actually suggested that you do that. And you know, what, what are we willing workers? Right? So it’s like, all right, well, we’re willing to do it if this is what God wants. And what a blessing that his words continue to touch listeners, ears and hearts. And that’s just really precious that you can do that.
Ann Coker [00:40:11]:
This Week is episode 210. So it started before Bill died, and then the tech guys said, do you want to continue this after he died? And I said, yes, let’s keep going.
Doris Swift [00:40:23]:
Yeah.
Ann Coker [00:40:23]:
Wow.
Doris Swift [00:40:24]:
That’. That’s a lot of episodes and more to come. So I think that’s amazing. And it just is a testament to the life and legacy of Bill, you know, and how God used him in a powerful way while he was on Earth. But also even now, you know, that he’s left the Earth, but he’s. He’s in his real home. You know, this is not our real home. We’re just passing through, you know, and so.
Doris Swift [00:40:46]:
But while we’re here, we have work to do and we have A Fierce Calling and this has been yours. And to share his words and so very precious. But also to share your own words and your own experiences to help others to know that they’re not alone. And you know, to be honest about it because nobody really gets much out of something that isn’t really honest. We don’t want sugar coated stuff. We want, you know, I mean it’s okay to, to be encouraged and watch something like a, a cute fun movie that’s light and uplifting or something like that. But when it comes to real life, we want the real thing, we want the real stuff and we want raw and honesty so we can all, you know, relate and find hope and encouragement through Christ who gives us strength. Right.
Doris Swift [00:41:39]:
So again, thank you so much for being back on the show. This has been amazing. And I will put in the show notes the, the things that you shared of how people can connect with you and then they can find your book on Amazon. Right, and.
Ann Coker [00:41:52]:
Right, Amazon. And I found out that Barnes and Noble has it too. Someone left a review on Barnes and Noble and I didn’t know that it was there available there. So there are other ways. I have some copies that I can sign if they want to, if they want a signed copy from me, they don’t have to pay that, but they have to add postage. The, the books are $15 and now I’m adding postage of 450. So if you’re a prime user of Amazon, you won’t have to pay.
Doris Swift [00:42:26]:
Very true, very true. And then I imagine too that this book has been a great resource for hospitals, you know, and for like other places that might have a lot of caregivers coming through or maybe people who are encouraging caregivers. So have you found that too?
Ann Coker [00:42:49]:
I’ve, I’ve contacted a couple, but I haven’t received notices yet.
Doris Swift [00:42:54]:
Leave some copies at doctor’s offices, you know, for people.
Ann Coker [00:42:57]:
Yeah, I’ve done that. Yeah.
Doris Swift [00:42:59]:
Yeah, see that’s great. And you never know if people will come to know Christ through these words, that maybe they’re a caregiver but they’re not a believer yet, you know. And then they would find peace and rest and comfort in him in through your book, you know, so that would be great and fantastic. So thank you again, Ann for being on the show and I hope to have you back on again in the future.
Ann Coker [00:43:22]:
Thank you very much, Doris. I appreciated this time.
Doris Swift [00:43:26]:
All right, well, God bless you and your ministry and your family and we will talk soon.
Ann Coker [00:43:31]:
All right, bye.
Doris Swift [00:43:36]:
Thank you so much for listening today. And I hope what Ann shared really encouraged you. I’m sure that it did. And if you could share this with someone who you think would also be encouraged by what she had to share, because caregiving is hard. It’s very hard. But as I always remembered another guest of mine, Jessica Ronnie, she also speaks about caregiving and has resources for that as well. And she, she says that caregiving is holy work. And I know Ann would definitely agree with that.
Doris Swift [00:44:08]:
And your story can help to comfort others, just as the Word says. You know, that we are, you know, we go through difficult seasons, but I’m kind of paraphrasing, but that, you know, the same comfort that we receive from the Lord, we can in turn comfort others with. With the comfort that we receive. So don’t forget that, friends, you have a calling. You have a fierce calling. And so I hope that you will pray about where God would have you to share your story. And your grace story is important, and it’s, it’s really about how you met Jesus. So share that with others, every opportunity that you have.
Doris Swift [00:44:50]:
And if you would like some encouragement on how to share your faith, I do have a resource on my website called simple tips for sharing your faith, and it’s on my webpage, my homepage, so you can check that out, too. And friends, I hope you’ll join me next time when I talk with another guest who’s taking action, where their passion, compassion, and conviction intersect. Until then, friends, have a blessed week. And I’ll talk to you soon.
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