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What happens when grief, addiction, and devastating loss reshape a person’s faith? In this episode of Fierce Calling I had a candid conversation with author and speaker, Maribeth Ditmars. Our convo explores how God can use even the hardest chapters for Kingdom work. We also talk about her books, the most recent being a special edition of her first book A Feather Under My Pillow: Christopher’s Journey, A Childhood Cancer Story, which tenderly chronicles her son Christopher’s life, legacy, and battle with childhood cancer.
The discussion follows a journey through the loss of two sons, recovery from alcohol addiction, and the transformation of personal brokenness into a message of hope. It also highlights the legacy of Christopher’s humor and faith, Jared’s return to Scripture and service, and a calling to support families affected by pediatric cancer. At the center is a powerful reminder by Maribeth that “Whatever your mess is, God can turn it into your message.” *
💡 Episode Highlights & Key Takeaways
03:32 Mary Beth Ditmars’ faith journey
06:47 A turning point in faith
11:46 Sharing Personal Story and Faith
15:49 Christopher’s impact in oncology ward
16:46 Losing connections after son’s death
21:06 Finding purpose through recovery
24:36 Discussing faith and personal calling
30:10 Planting seeds and trusting God
32:28 Jared’s spiritual transformation
34:59 Reflecting on Faith and Preparation
39:05 Viewing life through a biblical lens
43:00 How to contact Maribeth
44:23 Thanking Mary Beth and her story
🤝 Connect with Maribeth!
You can connect with Maribeth at maribethditmars.com
Maribeth Ditmars is a speaker, author, a retired teacher, and full time prayer warrior, whose riveting life story includes her own battle with alcoholism and the loss of two children, one to cancer and the other to accidental death. Maribeth will have you laughing, crying, and celebrating Jesus as your faith is inspired, your heart is comforted and your courage is edified. Maribeth shares that her purpose is to remind others that laughter and tears are only a moment apart, but joy is eternal, and she lives out this message in her powerful ministry to women and famiilies. She currently resides in Florida
🙏 Remember, Friend, That Your Story Matters!
As always, remember—your journey, your fierce calling, and your honest story can comfort and encourage others. Where can you share your experiences this week?
Grace and peace,
Doris
Host, Fierce Calling Podcast
*Show Disclaimer
The views and opinions expressed by our guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official policy, position, or views of this podcast, its hosts, or its sponsors. The views expressed in this episode or any other episodes of this podcast are for informational purposes only. This content does not replace professional medical advice, mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
What Threatens to Steal Your Joy?
Check out Surrender the Joy Stealers: Rediscover the Jesus Joy in You 6-week Bible study rooted in John 15. You can find more info at https://dorisswift.com/book/
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Find my free resources including Fear Fighting Bible Verses, Simple Tips for Sharing Your Faith, Step Out of Your Doubt and Into Your Calling ebook, and more on my dorisswift.com homepage!
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Thanks for Listening!
I hope this episode encouraged, inspired, and challenged you to cultivate community, live and walk in the value, purpose, and worth God gave you, and take action where your passion, compassion, and conviction intersect.
If you’re looking for a speaker for your next women’s conference, retreat, luncheon, or workshop, reach out and connect with me on my speaker page at https://www.womenspeakers.com/florida/edgewater/speaker/doris-swift
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Stay tuned for more amazing content and remember to check the show notes for all the links mentioned.
Thank you for being a part of our community. We are grateful for your continued support and encourage you to embrace the unique gifts that make you magnificently you.
I hope you’ll join me next time when I talk with another guest who is taking action where her passion, compassion, and conviction intersect …
Until then friend, have a blessed week, and I’ll talk to you soon.
With love and joy,
Doris
Transcript
Doris Swift [00:00:25 – 00:01:59]
What have your hardest seasons been like? Your deepest passions and all the things you’ve walked through and are currently walking through were meant to become the very calling God has placed on your life. Welcome to the Fierce Calling Podcast. I’m your host, Dara Swift, and I invite guests who are taking action where their passion, compassion, and conviction intersect and share their stories of faith, Hard seasons, resilience, and their calling. So together we’ll discover how God uses every part of our stories, and how when we say yes to Him and use our gifts to impact the world, that God can do extraordinary things in the midst of our ordinary days. And sometimes hearing someone else’s yes to God is just what we need to find the courage to say yes to Him too. So my hope is that the stories you hear will encourage, inspire, and challenge you to step out and discover your own fierce calling, because your story may be the very place where God is preparing you to jump into the work He prepared in advance for you to do and to follow Jesus in deeper and more profound ways. So yes, this is Fierce Calling, and if you’re ready to discover where your passion, compassion, and conviction intersect, and step out in faith to make a difference, you’re in the right place, friend. So listen in while I have a chat with today’s guest who has a message to share with you.
Doris Swift [00:02:01 – 00:02:51]
What is threatening to steal your joy? What is it that feels so heavy right now that you could barely stand? God has a plan, and His plan is to surrender it. Surrender it to Him. It might be a prodigal. It might be a relationship, a marriage, something with your job. So many things. We have so many amazing blessings, but there are so many things in our life that threaten to steal our joy. I’m Darris Swift, author of the award-winning 6-week Bible study, Surrender the Joy Stealers: Rediscover the Jesus Joy in You. And it helps women rediscover the overflowing, ever-present Jesus joy within that fills, empowers, and ripens the fruit that God produces in our lives.
Doris Swift [00:02:52 – 00:03:31]
Using personal and biblical stories, I share how you can identify your joy stealers, surrender them to God, reawaken the joy within, and share the joy with others. You can do it on your own or with a group. If you’re looking for a Bible study, check it out, friends. Surrender the Joy Stealers. Rediscover the Jesus joy in you. It’s time to take your joy back. Welcome back to Fierce Calling, friends. Today’s guest has a story that reminds us that even in our deepest seasons of loss and adversity, God is still writing our story.
Doris Swift [00:03:32 – 00:04:30]
Mary Beth Ditmars is an author of several books, including Dancing in the Minefields: One Woman’s Faith Journey Through Child Loss, Addiction, and Adversity, and her newest book, A Feather Under My Pillow, which we’re going to talk more about. She’s also a speaker, a storyteller, and she has walked through heartbreaking losses, addiction, and some incredibly difficult seasons of her faith. But God, right, Mary Beth? But God. One of Mary Beth’s deepest— But God. Amen. And one of her deepest desires is to offer hope, to others who struggle with loss, addiction, and adversity, and to trust God with every season of their lives. And I love how this message that she loves to share sums up beautifully her heart, and it’s that laughter and tears are only a moment apart, but joy is eternal. Welcome to the show, Mary Beth.
Doris Swift [00:04:30 – 00:04:32]
It’s so great to have you on today.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:04:33 – 00:04:40]
Thank you, Doris. It’s just great to be here. Thank you for asking me. And I’m excited to share what Jesus has done in my life.
Doris Swift [00:04:41 – 00:05:15]
Amen. Yes, Jesus, we want to lift his name on high and give him glory. And all the things that you have to share, that will really be a powerful episode today. So, friend, um, thank you so much. And if there’s anything else that you want to share about yourself before we get into the show that I might have left out as I introduced you, but also to go on to share how you are taking action where your passion, compassion, and conviction intersect.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:05:16 – 00:06:07]
Well, I was just telling Doris before the show, I’m very excited about my new book, A Feather Under My Pillow, because what God has done with the tragic story of our teenager that we lost to cancer is he’s turned it into a vehicle for raising both money for cancer research for children and support for families affected by pediatric cancer. So it’s, it’s given my son a legacy. So I’m really excited about that. And I love— I have several talks that I do when I speak in which I share my testimony. So I’m excited about opportunities that are coming up to do that.
Doris Swift [00:06:07 – 00:06:47]
That’s amazing how God has opened so many doors for you to share and bring hope to others, and all the ways that he uses pain and hardship in, in our stories, but that it’s not wasted. And so I would love if you would share a little bit about your journey, Mary Beth. And I know you have even said you were kind of a shaky Christian, you know, years back. And so if you could share how this all unfolded and what brought you to this ministry that you have today.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:06:47 – 00:07:37]
Yeah, for many years I was probably what you would call a cultural Christian. I was raised going to church, but it felt more like an obligation. I would have to say it was more like religion and not about relationship. And that all changed back in 1997. Our then 10-year-old son Christopher was diagnosed with leukemia, and that began a 4-year roller coaster ride in and out of remission. And during that time, I had to talk to him about life and death and heaven. And during that time, he had friends, really close friends that he had on the oncology ward, because when a child’s diagnosed, Mm-hmm. with cancer, they spend a lot of time in the hospital and they get to know other children who have cancer.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:07:37 – 00:07:46]
So their friend group lives in a very dangerous neighborhood. So all of a sudden, my faith was mightily, mightily challenged.
Doris Swift [00:07:47 – 00:07:47]
Mm-hmm.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:07:48 – 00:08:31]
And we didn’t get to keep Christopher. He died after a 4-year battle. Um, during those 4 years, we did have some really cool remission time. Where we actually did a pediatric bucket list. And one of the items on his bucket list is he wanted to go snowboarding somewhere snowy because we live in Florida. So if you’ve ever seen the movie The Bucket List, we got to do the teenage version of it. Another item on his bucket list is he wanted us to sneak him into a casino so he could play the slots. So we did that, even though we ended up getting ejected.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:08:33 – 00:08:55]
So we had a lot of adventures. But when he relapsed the last time, it was, it was very difficult. And we kept praying and praying and praying for a miracle. And as one of my friends so aptly put it, we prayed for the miracle But then we realized Christopher was the miracle.
Doris Swift [00:08:56 – 00:08:56]
Mm-hmm.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:08:56 – 00:09:17]
And what happened was he witnessed to us on his deathbed. He was 14 years old, and he said, Mom and Dad, I’m gonna be okay. I’m not scared. Jesus is coming for me. I’m ready to go. And quite frankly, I’m ready to not be bald anymore.
Doris Swift [00:09:18 – 00:09:18]
Hmm.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:09:18 – 00:10:00]
So he, he kept his sense of humor to the very end. Now, at the time, if you had asked me if I was a Christian, I would’ve said yes, but I really didn’t know what it was like to have a relationship with Jesus until our son Christopher modeled that for us. Mm-hmm. And after he passed, he left us a miraculous sign. Which has to do with the title of my book, A Feather Under My Pillow. And I’m gonna leave that as a little bit of a teaser. At the time, I was enslaved to alcohol as well.
Doris Swift [00:10:00 – 00:10:00]
Hmm.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:10:00 – 00:10:46]
Because over those 4 years, I had become more and more dependent on alcohol. So by the time Chris passed, I was very dependent on alcohol and I was drinking alcoholically. So what happened was Chris’s peaceful surrender and his incredible witness gave me the courage to face my addiction. And I write a lot about that in my Christian book, Dancing in the Minefields. Mm-hmm. So since then, I’ve had the honor and privilege of sharing my story at many churches and events. Um, I’ve had the honor and privilege of mentoring other women who struggle with addiction. But the enemy wasn’t done with my family just yet.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:10:48 – 00:11:39]
14 years after Chris passed, our second son and our only surviving son, Jared, who was 21 at the time, was killed in an accident. Mm-hmm. And it was sudden, so we didn’t have the closure that we had with Christopher. And it was horrible. He was here one day and gone the next. We had to look at him hooked up to machines for several days before he passed. But I was not the same person when Jared died as I was when Chris died, because by then I had 12 years of sobriety. And 12 years of being a Bible reader and 12 years of belonging to a Bible-teaching church.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:11:40 – 00:11:46]
So by the time Jared stepped into eternity, I had become a new creation.
Doris Swift [00:11:46 – 00:13:13]
Praise God. Wow. And I mean, I’m not into numerology or anything new agey like that, but the number 12 is so significant. Seems, you know, that 12 years into your sobriety and walking with the Lord, deeper, you know, in that relationship that you were getting so close to Jesus. And it, it’s like he prepares us when our firm foundation is threatened, you know, to be shaken by the enemy. But, um, I love how you do share the very raw parts of your story and Because let’s face it, we need to be authentic because people need to hear authenticity and they don’t want to hear anything sugarcoated because that’s not what life is about. And yeah, Jesus came to give us life and, uh, life abundantly, um, and that doesn’t look like prosperity with things or money and things like that, but it’s just his joy, his peace, you know, the fruit of the Spirit and you know, what he gives us, his peace, and how we are called to share the gospel with others. And, um, but I also love how you share such fun parts of your story, like, um, how Christopher was such a— he was kind of a little prankster, right? He used to pull some pranks on—
Maribeth Ditmars [00:13:13 – 00:13:14]
Oh yes.
Doris Swift [00:13:14 – 00:13:47]
On his, uh, staff there that were taking care of him. If you could share a few of those, those are really bright lights, you know, to kind of show that this child was going through so much, but yet his faith was growing. I think somewhere you had said, or it was written somewhere in one of your books, or maybe something you said at one time in an interview, that his body was, was failing, but his faith was growing, or something to that effect. If you could share a little bit about those really, really cool memories.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:13:48 – 00:14:28]
Yes. Well, as, as his body grew weaker, his spirit grew stronger. And one of the ways it manifested was through his incredible sense of humor. And, you know, when you think about it, all of our greatest memories in life aren’t days or weeks, they’re moments. Mm-hmm. And Chris taught us what it looked like to live in the moment. One of his favorite pranks was he would take an empty syringe, he would fill it with water and would hide it under the covers in his hospital bed. And then when unsuspecting nurses and doctors walked in, he would squirt them.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:14:30 – 00:15:09]
And when we would pack, you know, he had scheduled hospital admissions. And then he had unscheduled hospital admissions. And anybody who’s dealt with cancer knows that So like if he spiked a fever, that was immediately 3 days of IV antibiotics at the minimum. So we would, you know, keep a bag half packed all the time. But when we’d get ready to go to his scheduled hospital admissions, Chris would always say, Mom, don’t forget to pack the rubber vomit. And don’t forget— And don’t forget to pack the rubber poop.
Doris Swift [00:15:09 – 00:15:09]
Oh,
Maribeth Ditmars [00:15:10 – 00:15:29]
so, you know, so that the— there was this wonderful lady who cleaned the room, Miss Mary, which she was just a doll. And we, we got her every time Miss Mary would come in to mop and she’d go, oh, and then we’d all start laughing, you know.
Doris Swift [00:15:29 – 00:15:33]
Yeah. So precious. ‘Cause it made an impact.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:15:33 – 00:15:35]
Yeah. Chris, he was a major prankster.
Doris Swift [00:15:35 – 00:15:37]
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And that— I
Maribeth Ditmars [00:15:37 – 00:15:38]
mean, he didn’t always feel well enough.
Doris Swift [00:15:39 – 00:15:39]
Yeah,
Maribeth Ditmars [00:15:39 – 00:15:49]
there were very sick days. But I tell you what, the minute he started feeling better, he was spreading joy everywhere. And other things too, like silly string.
Doris Swift [00:15:49 – 00:16:45]
Yeah. Oh, fun. You know, and I imagine too, of course, I’ve not been a nurse in the oncology department or having to care for sick children and You know, they, I’m sure, sometimes feel some burden of having to do that, but also trying to help them feel better, you know, physically. And then with Christopher’s sense of humor, you know, bringing— it just shone the light of Jesus so brightly to those workers too that can you know, have to deal with heavy stuff every day. And what a bright light, you know, that he brought, encouraging his family and the other children in the ward too, but also the workers, the healthcare workers there. That’s pretty powerful stuff.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:16:46 – 00:17:43]
And, you know, I got close to a lot of them because at the time I was a 4th grade teacher, and I got You know, it was the same staff for 4 years. You know, a lot— they did have some changeover, but— and they would come to me with questions about their kids and school since I was a teacher. And what happened was over the course of those 4 years of treatment, I developed a lot of relationships besides the— with my son. Mm-hmm. And then when he died, I lost all of that. It was like double grief. And we spent a lot of time at the Ronald McDonald House, and I developed a strong relationship with all those volunteers. And, you know, and it was just devastating, not just losing Chris, but losing all, all those people I cared so much about, because I had no reason to drive up there anymore.
Doris Swift [00:17:44 – 00:18:08]
Yeah. And that kind of all rolls into that grief, you know, that you experience with, with loss in a lot of different ways. And, and so, um, so after that happened, what was the turning point in your life when you said, I gotta put the bottle down now? You know, like, what was the turning point, if you could share that story?
Maribeth Ditmars [00:18:08 – 00:18:34]
Well, I heard Chris’s voice in my head saying, Ma, you gotta quit drinking. This was shortly after he passed. I, I heard it in my head. And shortly after, I was driving to school one morning, getting ready to teach, and I never drank at school. So that was one of my excuses.
Doris Swift [00:18:34 – 00:18:34]
Mm-hmm.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:18:34 – 00:19:11]
That I wasn’t an alcoholic. And as I was driving to school, it was 8:30 in the morning, and I was already bargaining with myself about whether or not I was gonna drink that day. Hmm. I was already counting the drinks in my head. I was rationalizing, I was obsessing. And then all of a sudden, the Holy Spirit got ahold of me and said, Mary Beth, this is not what normal people do on the way to school or work in the morning.
Doris Swift [00:19:11 – 00:19:11]
Mm-hmm.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:19:12 – 00:19:44]
And it just hit me, you know, it was just like a sudden spiritual awakening. And I looked up and I just said, Jesus, it’s got me. Please help me. So I had to have a surrender experience. Mm-hmm. And before that, if I wanna backtrack a little, part of my story is when I was still drinking, cuz I didn’t get sober right away after Chris died. Mm-hmm. I had a very serious suicide attempt.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:19:44 – 00:20:21]
Mm-hmm. And I was rescued by a FAST ambulance. And what the Lord did is when I was driving to school that morning, he brought that to mind and he reminded me, you know, that do you want that to stay in the past or do you want that to be another future episode? Mm-hmm. So it was just, it was almost magical the way the Holy Spirit just grabbed me in the car and, you know, got ahold of me. So then I started taking recovery seriously. Mm-hmm.
Doris Swift [00:20:22 – 00:20:51]
Yeah, yeah. I love how you said when you were surrendering it, you said, Jesus, it’s got me, please help me. You know, that’s not anything complicated. It’s not any long drawn-out prayer or something, you know, that’s wrote that you have to recite. It was your heart and it was a cry for help. And that our prayers are always heard, no matter, you know, how we pray or what we say, you know, they’re always heard.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:20:51 – 00:20:53]
But yeah, yeah, we don’t have to be articulate.
Doris Swift [00:20:53 – 00:20:56]
Yeah. That one was very powerful. And
Maribeth Ditmars [00:20:57 – 00:20:57]
the gut prayer.
Doris Swift [00:20:57 – 00:21:06]
Yeah. And you just kind of have to think that God is just waiting for our prayer like that. A prayer like that.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:21:06 – 00:21:57]
So after I had that encounter with the Holy Spirit in the car, I realized that I needed help. And, you know, I’m, I’m very active in the recovery community and I’ve done a lot of speaking related to that. And, and in 12-step programs, the 3rd step says we made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him. So a decision was made that day. Hmm. And I’ve never looked back. I have a life that’s rich despite, despite my tragedies. My life is rich, and God gives me women to help, to mentor, so that I now have a new sense of purpose.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:21:57 – 00:22:18]
And I think that’s one of the messages I frequently carry when I share my story, is that whatever your mess is, God can turn it into your message. Mm-hmm. And he can use your own brand of brokenness to do kingdom work.
Doris Swift [00:22:19 – 00:23:01]
Amen. That is a powerful statement right there. And you know, when you were talking about walking this road and the fact being that sometimes God will remove a temptation entirely, but not always, you know, I think sometimes people might feel like, well, God should just take this temptation totally away from me. But that’s kind of the faith part and the decision part, to make a decision. And I think that is such a powerful key to the surrender, is like you make that decision that something’s got to change, but you can’t do it on your own, you know, and you need God.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:23:02 – 00:23:13]
It’s like that verse when, when the Apostle Paul wanted God to take the thorn out of his side, and then he says, therefore I boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, for in them Christ’s power rests in me.
Doris Swift [00:23:14 – 00:23:14]
You
Maribeth Ditmars [00:23:14 – 00:23:16]
know, that’s, that’s living in a broken world.
Doris Swift [00:23:17 – 00:23:17]
Yeah.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:23:17 – 00:23:22]
You know, the rainbows and unicorns, they’re going to come later, not now.
Doris Swift [00:23:23 – 00:23:51]
And yeah, and I love how you brought up that passage because like right before that is when Paul was talking about going to the third heaven, and but he was just very humbled by that experience, you know, and all of that. So that thorn really continue to keep him humble, uh, but that the Lord says his grace is sufficient and his power is made perfect in weakness, right? I think is how that goes. But yes, um, yeah.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:23:51 – 00:24:17]
And, and, you know, just when I’m ready to give up, God will give me a little nugget, you know, like on my birthday last October. I got a call from The 700 Club saying they wanted to interview me. And just before that, I, I had lost an opportunity to speak at an event that I was very excited about.
Doris Swift [00:24:17 – 00:24:17]
Mm-hmm.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:24:18 – 00:24:26]
Well, maybe I’m not supposed to be doing this. And then, then I got that call. So it’s like, you know, God closes one door and he opens another.
Doris Swift [00:24:27 – 00:24:33]
Yeah, yeah, that’s for sure. And how encouraging. for you to get. You said that was on your birthday?
Maribeth Ditmars [00:24:34 – 00:24:35]
It was on my birthday.
Doris Swift [00:24:36 – 00:25:35]
Oh man, what a gift, right? That is really amazing. And our God is amazing, and he does extraordinary things in the midst of our ordinary days. And, you know, I love that he does that, and he affirms what our calling is, or if we are to continue in a certain way, because our calling, you know, might change over time. I mean, ultimately our calling is to make Jesus known, you know, and share the gospel and to follow him and to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and love our neighbor as ourself. You know, those are those callings that are overarching for all of us, but we have individual ways that God will use us and use our stories. And so I think it’s very powerful how he does do that. And he affirmed, confirmed, and encouraged that you are where you’re supposed to be and to continue on until he, he says to do something different about it.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:25:36 – 00:26:00]
Yeah, like, um, I was doing a lot of tutoring last year, and this year that kind of went away because God wants me to focus more on other things. You know, sometimes we don’t see it when God takes things away. You know, like my sons, I, I have no idea why they Didn’t live as long as they did.
Doris Swift [00:26:00 – 00:26:00]
Yeah.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:26:01 – 00:26:19]
But what’s interesting is you were talking about numbers and the Bible earlier. Both of my sons passed away in the 7th month, and one was 14 and one was 21, which are multiples of 7, which in the Bible is the number of completion.
Doris Swift [00:26:20 – 00:26:22]
Wow. That’s pretty profound.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:26:22 – 00:26:27]
Yeah. So what God’s given me, an eternal perspective on my losses.
Doris Swift [00:26:28 – 00:26:30]
Like a bigger picture story of
Maribeth Ditmars [00:26:31 – 00:26:33]
bigger picture. Exactly
Doris Swift [00:26:33 – 00:26:42]
how this all plays out. And we don’t always understand everything, and we’re not supposed to always understand everything. I think sometimes in our humanness, we’re
Maribeth Ditmars [00:26:42 – 00:26:43]
not,
Doris Swift [00:26:43 – 00:27:13]
you know, we want answers and we want to know why. And, and, and things unfold. Like, I know you share a story because you are— and I think God bless you for being a teacher. I love that, you know. And 4th graders, man, to have Mrs. Dittmar as their teacher, that must be like amazing. But you wrote a book about, you know, childhood cancer, right? And then you were able to share that in your classroom.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:27:15 – 00:28:04]
I had a children’s book that I wrote. It was called The Bald-Headed Princess: Cancer, Chemo, and Courage. And it was for children with cancer. Right now, that book is out of print because I’m going to republish that one also. Because my publisher, Bellastari Publishing, donates all their proceeds to the Gold Initiative of the American Cancer Society. So my books are being used very concretely to fund pediatric research and to Fund patient support because right now only four to six percent of all cancer fundraising money goes towards pediatric cancer. That’s it.
Doris Swift [00:28:05 – 00:28:05]
Wow!
Maribeth Ditmars [00:28:05 – 00:28:38]
Most of the money’s funneled elsewhere. So I took *The Bald Headed Princess* out of print, which is my children’s book, and. Um, I’m going to republish that next year because I got to focus on one project at a time. But I’ll tell you a story about when I was still teaching. Obviously, I’m retired now, but when I was teaching 4th grade, the year my book, my children’s book came out, the Lord put a child in my class who had cancer.
Doris Swift [00:28:39 – 00:28:40]
Hmm.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:28:40 – 00:28:43]
And we all read the book out loud together and we talked about it.
Doris Swift [00:28:44 – 00:28:47]
Wow, that is a meaningful— It was powerful.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:28:47 – 00:28:49]
Yeah, it was just so powerful.
Doris Swift [00:28:50 – 00:29:07]
Yeah, and that was great because it also helped that child’s classmates to better come around that child and understand maybe what some things that they were going through, you know, at the time, and how to help support.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:29:07 – 00:29:13]
There was no teasing and bullying in Mrs. Dittmar’s class that year, let me tell you.
Doris Swift [00:29:13 – 00:29:36]
Wow, Mrs. Dittmar’s class is the place to be. But, but that is, that is really special. And, uh, you know, even, even though you’re retired, the kids that you’ve impacted in, in your many ways of teaching and many years of teaching, um, will live for them, with them, you know, far into the future. And yeah.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:29:37 – 00:29:48]
40-somethings stop me in, in the grocery store and say, you were my teacher. And I’m like, I don’t remember because they were 9 when I had them. Yeah, I don’t recognize them.
Doris Swift [00:29:48 – 00:29:49]
Wow.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:29:49 – 00:30:10]
It’s wonderful. And, and, you know, we have to compare that to when we share the gospel or when we witness to people. We might just be planting a little seed that years later will— God will make it grow. Yeah, we just never know who we’re influencing. We never know.
Doris Swift [00:30:10 – 00:31:02]
Yeah, that’s very encouraging because sometimes we could, you know, wait and wait, wait and maybe not see the fruit, but God is still producing the fruit. He’s the one that produces the fruit, and we are called to be seed planters and waterers. And you just never know what God’s going to do with it this side of heaven, or we might find out the other side when we get there. But, uh, but I You know, I love all that that you shared, and it’s very encouraging and inspiring to someone who’s listening right now who really needs that encouragement and hope. And I’d like to segue now to, uh, into your story with, with Jared. And there you had some encouraging things that occurred with him too, even during his rebellious time. Can you share a little bit about that?
Maribeth Ditmars [00:31:03 – 00:31:28]
Yes. Jared was our strong-willed child. So parenting him was sometimes more challenging than the other 2. He was stubborn and he’s also brilliant, you know, but he was also ADHD. So gifted slash ADHD is a tough combination. He didn’t accept our rules on face value. Everything had to be explained ad nauseam. Mm-hmm.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:31:29 – 00:31:55]
I used to say, Jared, you can argue the bark off a tree. You know, he was just relentless. And he went through a period of rebellion when he was 19 where he got arrested. He and some friends broke into some unlocked cars and found some credit cards and got in trouble. And he ended up having to go to jail for a little while. And God got a hold of him there. Mm-hmm. Because I went to visit him.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:31:57 – 00:32:02]
And he asked me for a Bible. I was like, oh my goodness.
Doris Swift [00:32:02 – 00:32:03]
Mm-hmm.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:32:04 – 00:32:25]
And he said, I’m borrowing somebody’s Bible. Can you send me my own? I couldn’t hand it to him in the jail rules. You had to mail it. And, and he sat on the other side of that glass and he started quoting Galatians 6. The full— or is it Ephesians 6?
Doris Swift [00:32:25 – 00:32:25]
Ephesians.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:32:25 – 00:32:27]
The full armor of God.
Doris Swift [00:32:27 – 00:32:27]
The armor. That’s Ephesians.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:32:28 – 00:33:08]
I always get Galatians and Ephesians mixed up. He started quoting Ephesians 6:2, the full armor of God, and he’s going, Mom, it’s really cool. It’s like every part of the armor has symbolism, like the sword of the Spirit and the helmet of salvation and the belt of truth. And here’s this kid in jail. And his eyes are alive. So God took that captivity and also took captive of his heart. And one of the very last things Jared did before he passed— he died at 21— is he had a cookout for the homeless.
Doris Swift [00:33:09 – 00:33:09]
Oh, wow.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:33:10 – 00:33:39]
You know, he ended up with a servant’s heart. And he also had better parents than my older 2 because he had a mom who’d been sober. for years, and we were taking him to a church that talked about the gospel and the Bible. So Jared, being our youngest, had the benefit of the best parenting compared to the other 2, who, you know, we weren’t always on our best behavior when they were little.
Doris Swift [00:33:39 – 00:33:40]
Hmm.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:33:40 – 00:33:51]
And it’s like I was talking about that seed you plant, you know, raise up a child and he will not depart. It took a while. It took jail and it took some hardship.
Doris Swift [00:33:51 – 00:33:53]
Captive audience, like you said.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:33:53 – 00:34:33]
He really pivoted. And so even though his death in many ways was harder than Chris’s because we didn’t have the closure, I knew right where he went. I knew he was present with the Lord. And my husband even had a little special encounter. The moment Jared had his accident, my husband was folding laundry in the family room. And he said, Mary Beth, something just came over me like this incredible peace. Like I felt like I was 25 years old again. And I felt invincible and loved.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:34:33 – 00:34:56]
And he said, I felt like I was outside of my body. And it passed. And this happened before we knew Jared had had his accident. And then an hour later, the police knocked on the door. And when Rob, my husband, figured out the timing, that spiritual encounter he had was at the time of Jared’s accident.
Doris Swift [00:34:56 – 00:34:58]
Oh, wow. Wow.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:34:58 – 00:34:59]
Isn’t that incredible?
Doris Swift [00:34:59 – 00:35:47]
That is incredible. There’s almost no words that can describe That, you know, and how, how God does. I, I remember years ago I had a woman in, in one of my Bible study groups that she had lost her husband, but she said, and I’ll never forget what she said, she said, I look back in the, the months prior to that and I can see all the ways that God was preparing me for what was to come. And I just never forgot that. I mean, I always knew God prepares us and, you know, and he’s always with us, will never leave us nor forsake us, but that. kind of just reminded— what you just shared just reminded me of that. And so, wow, that is something. And just the fact being that he was hungry for the word.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:35:47 – 00:35:48]
Yeah.
Doris Swift [00:35:48 – 00:36:00]
You know, and I remember you talking about it. I think it was an interview or something I saw you do where you were talking about how he had actually borrowed someone else’s Bible and he wanted his own, right? So that—
Maribeth Ditmars [00:36:00 – 00:36:01]
He wanted his own.
Doris Swift [00:36:01 – 00:36:04]
That was cool. Very cool. And
Maribeth Ditmars [00:36:04 – 00:36:16]
I, I just, and we had the best conversations. Jared was a deep thinker and we would discuss the Tim LaHaye Left Behind series and I just miss those conversations with him.
Doris Swift [00:36:17 – 00:36:17]
Yeah.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:36:17 – 00:36:42]
And, you know, but I know he’s just enjoying all of that on steroids. Like we can’t even imagine. I used to have those conversations with Christopher about heaven, you know, when he was 13 going on 14, he knew he was dying. And so we started having a lot of conversations about what heaven was like.
Doris Swift [00:36:42 – 00:36:42]
Yeah.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:36:43 – 00:37:21]
And we came to the conclusion that everybody gets to do all their favorite things whenever they want to. And Chris said, oh, I’m gonna go snowboarding, and it’s gonna be spring weather, and it’s not gonna be cold. And, you know, all these things. And, and Back then, I, I wasn’t, I wasn’t sober. I wasn’t a born-again Christian like I am now, but God still allowed us to have those wonderful conversations. But if I had, if I knew what I knew now, I would’ve pulled out that book by Randy Alcorn, Heaven, and I would’ve read, you know, the scripture and the descriptions and the connection to heaven.
Doris Swift [00:37:22 – 00:37:46]
Yeah. Wow. And too, you know, just thinking over your story and what you’ve shared and how precious it was that it just seemed like one of his main concerns was just to make sure that you and— you and Dad were okay, you know, that, you know, you were comforted by the fact that he wasn’t scared and he knew where he was going. And, and so that’s, you know, that’s so sweet.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:37:46 – 00:38:11]
Exactly. It was like role reversal. In the end, it was like he was the parent and we were the children, and Jesus was just holding his hand, guiding him, and he was sharing that light with us. It was absolutely like role reversal. He cared very deeply that we not worry about him. He was very unselfish.
Doris Swift [00:38:12 – 00:38:23]
Wow. Pretty special. Not to cry. Pretty special kids you have. Had raised. And, and you also have a daughter and grandkids, and so that’s pretty special.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:38:23 – 00:38:32]
It’s all girls left. Yeah, um, I have a daughter, a daughter, and I have 2— I have one grown granddaughter and one nearly grown granddaughter who’s
Doris Swift [00:38:32 – 00:38:32]
a
Maribeth Ditmars [00:38:33 – 00:38:46]
junior in high school. And my, um, my grown granddaughter is struggling. She’s in rehab as I speak. So I just tell everybody, you know what, she’s enriched my prayer life.
Doris Swift [00:38:47 – 00:38:51]
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And there you go. That’s right. Yeah.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:38:51 – 00:39:02]
You know, addiction is just such a family disease, and I’m just so grateful that I’ve let God use my addiction to do his work.
Doris Swift [00:39:03 – 00:39:03]
Yeah.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:39:03 – 00:39:04]
I’m just so grateful.
Doris Swift [00:39:05 – 00:40:06]
And such a different perspective looking at circumstances through a biblical worldview, in a biblical lens, versus, you know, worldly, and how crises are so much different when we have that firm foundation. And I know, like you were sharing earlier, which will encourage parents listening, you know, any parents that are listening today, you were talking about how your kids had part of parents that were different until you all— then you were transformed and became true believers in walking with Jesus, and your faith really came to life and all of that. But I feel like too, when people witness that, like, like your daughter witnessed that transformation, that is also powerful, you know, when they see the change and that it really makes it all very tangible and real. That this, hey, there’s something real about this.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:40:06 – 00:40:13]
Yeah. And people don’t always validate you at the time.
Doris Swift [00:40:13 – 00:40:14]
Mm-hmm.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:40:14 – 00:40:17]
But consistency’s important.
Doris Swift [00:40:17 – 00:40:18]
Yeah.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:40:18 – 00:40:26]
If they see me consistently turning to the Lord, consistently doing my routines of prayer,
Doris Swift [00:40:26 – 00:40:27]
mm-hmm,
Maribeth Ditmars [00:40:27 – 00:40:30]
being in the word, sharing my story with others.
Doris Swift [00:40:30 – 00:40:30]
Yeah.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:40:30 – 00:40:38]
They see that consistency, and I think eventually it softens their hearts, even if they’re not ready right away.
Doris Swift [00:40:38 – 00:41:09]
Yeah. And they don’t even realize it. And then all of a sudden, maybe God turns on the light bulb, you know, and they can really see. And just the fact being that, yeah, sometimes it’s hard because when there’s true transformation, people don’t always believe it, believe that something’s changed. It’s like kind of like Paul. You know, the story of Paul when he, you know, they all knew him as a persecutor of Christians. Well, at the time, you know, people of the way, you know, that he would persecute and they were a little skeptical. Like,
Maribeth Ditmars [00:41:09 – 00:41:14]
I love that. That’s like one of my favorite stories, the Damascus Road encounter.
Doris Swift [00:41:14 – 00:41:14]
Yeah.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:41:15 – 00:41:24]
It’s amazing how God takes, like, so what he did is he took Paul’s zeal. And turned it in the right direction.
Doris Swift [00:41:25 – 00:41:26]
Yeah. Yeah.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:41:26 – 00:41:52]
You know, and I’ve, I’ve met so many people like that. Um, a good friend of mine did 13 years in federal prison because his alcoholism led him to criminal behavior. And if you heard him speak now and how he helps young men new in recovery, you’d be like, Wow, that is not the same person that sat in prison all those years ago.
Doris Swift [00:41:52 – 00:41:52]
Yeah.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:41:52 – 00:41:54]
So I get to witness a lot of miracles.
Doris Swift [00:41:55 – 00:41:55]
Yeah.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:41:55 – 00:41:55]
That’s really cool.
Doris Swift [00:41:56 – 00:42:12]
And that just reminds me, I love how in the beginning of the show you had said you were praying for a miracle, but that Christopher was the miracle, you know? And so just remembering that something sometimes is right in front of us and we don’t maybe even realize it. So you know what God is doing.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:42:13 – 00:42:42]
And also, if there’s any women listening to this who’ve lost children, I have a wonderful resource on my YouTube channel. It’s an 8-part series. Mm-hmm. And if, I don’t know if you’re gonna put up my website or whatever, if they fill out the contact form, I will send that to them. It’s an 8-part series. It’s called, um, Renewing Your Mind After Child Loss. Mm-hmm. And specifically has scriptures in it and stories.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:42:42 – 00:42:42]
And
Doris Swift [00:42:42 – 00:43:00]
yeah, I’ll definitely have that in the show notes, um, for them. And so that’s, that’s encouraging. And are there any maybe last things that you had on your heart that you wanted to share before we have you share where the listener can connect with you and find your books and your resources?
Maribeth Ditmars [00:43:00 – 00:43:39]
Well, my website is maribethdittmars.com. M-A-R-I-B-E-T-H D-I-T-M-A-R-S.com. My email’s on there, my phone’s on there, my contact form is on there. There’s a dropdown menu where they can go to my books. And if they’re interested in that YouTube resource, they can just fill out the contact form and I’ll send them the link. And also what they can do is if they want to support pediatric cancer, I have an Amazon wishlist as well. Where they can buy books that I can donate.
Doris Swift [00:43:39 – 00:43:39]
Nice.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:43:39 – 00:43:42]
So we can put that link in there too.
Doris Swift [00:43:42 – 00:43:45]
Great. Wow. That’s really good. Yeah.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:43:45 – 00:44:01]
And also, and, and then just if they have any events that need an encouraging speaker, um, please invite me. You know, I, I have my 2 favorite talks are 4 Rs for Renewing Your Mind and 3 Ways to Let Go and Let God.
Doris Swift [00:44:02 – 00:44:22]
Well, that would be amazing. Uh, if you have a women’s event and you want to reach out and invite Mary Beth to come speak at your event— and, uh, I was blessed to meet you in person when we were at Marnie’s event where we were encouraging women ministry leaders, you know. And so that was what that event was about.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:44:22 – 00:44:23]
That was fabulous.
Doris Swift [00:44:23 – 00:45:01]
That was very, very good, and I loved it so much. And it was great to meet you in person then, and So, Mary Beth, this has been such a powerful episode, and I thank you for sharing your story, and not only your story, but the stories of your children and your family too, and how God is using all of it for, you know, his glory and for your fierce calling now is what you’re doing. And so, you know, you can— and you can also find Fran, Mary Beth, there’s, there’s different interviews and things you can, you can check out, but she’s got links on her website so you can— I do.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:45:01 – 00:45:05]
I have video on my website. I’m easy to get a hold of.
Doris Swift [00:45:05 – 00:45:09]
Yeah, she’s easy to get a hold of, and she’s in Florida like me, so—
Maribeth Ditmars [00:45:09 – 00:45:10]
Yay, sweating!
Doris Swift [00:45:11 – 00:45:35]
Yay, amen! So if you’re listening, uh, in Florida, it’s just a drive away, so that’s good. And so, Fran, well, so much has happened, and God continues to bring forth such amazing fruit from your ministry and what he’s doing in and through you and through the books that you’re writing. And, and we look forward to things to come, you know, of what God is doing in and through you.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:45:35 – 00:45:41]
Thank you, Doris, for all you do for highlighting these stories. Just thank you.
Doris Swift [00:45:41 – 00:45:42]
Oh, well, thank you.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:45:42 – 00:45:45]
It’s a lot of work having a podcast. I appreciate it. It is
Doris Swift [00:45:45 – 00:45:50]
kind of a lot of work, but it’s— yeah, it’s just— it is— it’s a fierce calling for sure. And so—
Maribeth Ditmars [00:45:50 – 00:45:51]
It’s a fierce calling.
Doris Swift [00:45:51 – 00:45:55]
But I appreciate it, and I would love to have you back on the show sometime. That would be really great.
Maribeth Ditmars [00:45:55 – 00:45:57]
Oh, okay. I would love to come back. Thank you.
Doris Swift [00:45:57 – 00:46:27] Yeah, that would be amazing, friends. So thank you so much, uh, for listening to the show today, and I’ll have all the links in the show notes so you can check out Mary Beth’s resources and books and just learn even more about her and find out how you can connect with her. And I hope you’ll join me next time when I talk with another guest who’s taking action where their passion, compassion, and conviction intersect. Until then, friends, have a blessed week, and I’ll talk to you soon!
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